10-step love detox

Soup up your sex life and revamp your romance, whether you're single or attached

1. Ditch the deadwood

There's no time like now for clearing out your emotional clutter. Move on if you're in an unhappy relationship. Life is too short to stay in a relationship that no longer makes you feel good about yourself.

If you're single, stop spending time with friends who you don't have much in common with. If they're all coupled-up and pregnant, broaden your social circle to include happy single women.

2. Speak up

Confrontation is scary. But if you want to find or keep a healthy relationship, you have to stand up for yourself, and that includes arguing.

Every happy couple argues sometimes. Couples who never argue end up splitting, because there's only so long you can pretend to agree with another person before you explode.

Standing up for yourself doesn't mean being aggressive or talking over him. Be honest but tactful, and don't be sarcastic or whingey.

Speaking up shows that you're secure enough to question what your man says or does. If your new assertiveness causes him to blow up in a rage, get rid of him!

It's also vital that you say what you want in bed. If you want better sex, or more of it, or different, say so. Your bloke isn't telepathic. Tell him what you like, how often, where and why. Which brings us to...

3. Be more adventurous in bed

Haul yourself out of that sex rut. No matter how long you've been with the same man, there's always room for trying something new.

The more sex you have, the more you want it. Don't do it in the same way at the same time every week. If you wake up feeling frisky, go for it. At first he may be shocked, but spontaneity will do wonders for your sex drive.

If you're shy, ask yourself why. Sex is ridiculous. Genitals are silly-looking (especially his). Accept the inherent silliness of sex, and have fun with it.