10 things all pregnant women fear

• Having no sex life ever again

  Some women say they can’t get enough sex during pregnancy.  Well, good for them – but not only have you lost all interest, you couldn’t heave yourself into position even if you wanted to.  And with damage down below and the pressure of a crying baby surely it can only get worse?  Don’t pressure yourself – it can take a while before you’re back in business, especially if you’re sleeping apart.  Stay close with lots of cuddles in the meantime – eventually it will all fall into place again.

• Pooing during labour

  Do you really poo when you push?  It’s the elephant in the room at antenatal classes – everyone wants to know but no-one likes to ask.  Most women find themselves needing the loo in early labour, but even so with all that ‘pushing into your bottom’ the truth is, it’s likely.  Don’t think about it.  If it does happen it’s nothing the midwives haven’t seen before – they’ll deal with it quickly and discreetly and you probably won’t even notice.

• Going into labour in public place

  As the birth approaches you’ll naturally feel nervous, wondering when and how it will all kick off.  What if your waters break in public, or you’re one of those women who gives birth in a taxi?  How will you get your trousers off – what if everyone sees?  The reality for most women is their waters break with a trickle, or are broken during labour – but if it does happen to you, worrying about what people think will be the last thing on your mind.

• Not losing the baby weight

  You were expecting to put on a few pounds but you’ve gained so much weight you don’t even recognise yourself.  What’s more you’re hungry all the time and can’t see how you will ever lose it.  Ignore annoying celebs who are back in their bikinis after five minutes, for most normal women it takes a while – at least nine months and often longer.  Don’t try to diet when breastfeeding and wait until your six week check before you do anything too strenuous.

• Never getting your life back

  Where did the old you go?  Pregnancy and babies are all you’ve thought about for nine months and now your little one consumes your every waking thought.  You can see your friends drift off as you relate yet another newborn story and no wonder – you’re even starting to bore yourself.  Schedule in a couple of hours a week where you think about something other than babies – it may feel strange at first but you’ll soon feel a bit more like your old self.

• Not knowing you’re in labour

  You’ve probably got used to Braxton Hicks – ‘practice’ contractions as your body tightens and relaxes in preparation for birth.  But how will you know when it’s the real thing?  What if you don’t recognise the signs?  Rest assured you’ll know.  Labour contractions are stronger, longer and more frequent, and by the time you’re ready to start pushing there won’t be a shred of doubt that you’re ready to give birth.

• The pain

  Pain and childbirth go hand in hand, and whether it’s your first or third time the thought is a little scary.  The fact is, it does hurt.  But just how much can vary – some women need an epidural from the outset while others manage with breathing exercises.  Talk it through with someone – opening up about your fears is often half the battle. The more you know the less fearful you’ll be, so play close attention in antenatal classes and think in advance about the type of pain relief you want.

• Being a terrible mother

  You’ve spent so long gearing up to give birth you haven’t thought about what comes next.  But suddenly you’re terrified.  Your baby will rely on your for everything - what if you don’t measure up?  Just take it one step at a time and remember you’re more than capable.  A little worry goes with the territory, but you’ll know exactly what to do when the time comes.

• Having an ugly baby

  You were expecting to feel at least a bit maternal but you look at other babies and don’t feel a thing. And while some people say all babies are beautiful, in your opinion that’s not strictly true.  What if yours comes out ugly and you can’t love him/her?  It’s true some are a bit red and wrinkly and they may even have the odd pimple – but with your new mum goggles on yours will be the most beautiful you’ve ever set eyes on.

• Ability to handle lack of sleep

  Friends with kids look back with a shudder to the early weeks of broken nights and you worry you’ll never cope with the lack of sleep.  The reality is you’ll sleep a lot less for a while, but there are ways to cope.  Your baby will gradually settle into a routine and sleep for longer stretches.  In the meantime, take it in turns to do night feeds and try to sleep when they do during the day – even half an hour can make all the difference.

• Next Up: 10 reasons to feel good about your pregnant body

  Pregnancy guides come with dire warnings about pregnancy niggles and discomforts.  But while a few aches and pains may be par for the course,

See also:

• 10 common pregnancy concerns and why not to worry
• 10 things no one tells you about labour