10 tips for coping with bedwetting

Thirsty work

You might assume your child should drink less during the day. However, experts stress that adequate (though not excessive) fluid helps the bladder to function effectively.

Drinking plenty of water at school - a better choice than fizzy or sugary drinks - also helps to guard against constipation, which can contribute to bed wetting.

Try to encourage your child to use the loo whenever she needs to, and if she’s reluctant, find out why. For instance, are the school toilets dirty, smelly or a hang-out for bullies? Could you get together with other parents and do something about it?

• Bedwetting explained

More sheets to wash…

With all the extra laundry to deal with, it’s natural to feel frustrated (up to 30 per cent of parents admit they get angry and intolerant over bedwetting, according to an ERIC survey).

However, it’s far better to remain neutral and matter-of-fact if you possibly can, as dramatic show-downs can make the problem worse. A child should never be punished over an accident.

Do ask him to help with the clean-up and laundry, as it’ll help to give him a sense of a responsibility. Most important of all, reassure him that you’ll do all you can to help, and that this problem won’t last forever.

• Bedwetting explained

Time for bed

Try to establish a regular bedtime routine, ensuring that your child uses the loo before lights out. If there are still frequent accidents, it’s a good idea to use several absorbent sleep mats on top of each other - that way, if the bed gets wet, you can strip off one layer, exposing the dry mat underneath.

‘We got to the stage when Jake would wake up after he’d peed, strip his bedding in the middle of the night and stuff it all in the washing machine,’ says his mum Kirstie, 39. ‘I couldn’t help thinking, wow, you can do all that at the age of seven - yet you can’t wake up when you need to pee!’ Luckily, Jake did stop bedwetting before his eighth birthday - just in time to go on his first cubs camp.

• Bedwetting explained

Night-time loo blues

Some parents ‘lift’ their child during the night, carrying her to the loo and encouraging her to use it whilst she’s barely awake. While this can cut down on wet sheets in the short term, it doesn’t help your child to recognise the signal that she needs a wee, and act upon it in time (in fact, it’s not so different from weeing in bed).

If you do accompany your child to the loo during the night, better that she’s fully awake and aware of what’s happening. Remember to lavish her with praise whenever she wakes up and uses the loo during the night.

• Bedwetting explained

Help is at hand

Parents are often reluctant to discuss their child’s bedwetting with their GP, but in many cases the condition is treatable. Your GP can help to rule out other factors which may be causing or worsening the problem, such as an infection.

They can also refer your child to an enuresis clinic (but usually only if she is over seven years old), where she’ll be assessed and treated by specialists.

Your GP or clinic specialists can also advise whether an alarm - which buzzes when it comes into contact with moisture - would be helpful.

• Bedwetting explained

Sleepover stress

Two thirds of parents believe that wetting the bed is the worst thing that can happen on a sleepover, according to an ERIC survey. ‘On one sleepover, when she was eight, Beth refused to wear pull-ups and was mortified when she had an accident,’ says her mum Hayley, 43.

‘After that, I shopped around and found some really discrete ones. Whenever she was asked to stay overnight, I’d have a quiet word with the mum and explain the situation.’

Try DryNites pyjama pants (available up to teen sizes) and reassure your child that no one will ever know.

• Bedwetting explained

A little TLC

If you feel you’re at your wits’ end, bear in mind that bedwetting can affect many aspects of your child’s life. Overnight school trips can stressful (that is, if he feels he can go at all), and even if his friends are unaware of the problem, he may still feel a bit ‘different.’

In one study, three quarters of parents believed that bedwetting has a big effect of a child’s happiness. ‘When I talked to Cal about it, he said he felt ashamed,’ says Nicola, 39, of her seven-year-old.

‘I reassured him that it wasn’t his fault and happens to lots of other kids too.’ In fact, in a class of seven or eight year-olds, it’s likely that two or three children have the same problem.

• Bedwetting explained

Praise and rewards

As with most aspects of parenting, focusing on the positive usually has the greatest effect. Chat with your child to decide how many ‘dry nights’ should result in a treat or reward (there’s no shame in outright bribery here).

While bedwetting isn’t due to laziness or in any way intentional, emphasising his progress and successes is a great way to make him feel good about himself. If he does ‘regress’ and has the odd mishap, keep the focus on how well he’s done on all the other dry nights.

• Bedwetting explained

He’ll get there in the end…

Even if your child doesn’t seem to be making progress, bear in mind that in most cases, bedwetting resolves itself eventually.

There’s plenty of advice on hand on at www.eric.org.uk, www.bedwetting.co.uk, www.nhs.uk/conditions/bedwetting and www.drynites.co.uk and you can chat to other parents on the forums too.

In the meantime, focus on building your child’s confidence, and keep the bedwetting in proportion. Someday soon, it’ll be just another issue that, as a family, you’ve managed to overcome.

• Bedwetting explained