10 ways to involve your partner in your pregnancy

Attend antenatal classes

The thought of antenatal classes is enough to make some men shudder, but they could be the best chance he’ll get to find out exactly what to expect when the time comes.  

It’s not all exaggerated breathing techniques and red-faced dads – he’ll also learn how to support you as you prepare to give birth, the ins and outs of pain relief and what to do at each stage, from the onset of contractions to the final push. 

See also:

• 10 treatments to try during pregnancy

Be at the birth

In the bad old days, dads were banished to the corridor during labour, but up to 96 per cent of men now attend the birth of their child. 

Having him there means he’s on hand to keep you company, hold your hand through contractions, help you breathe and give you the confidence to speak up for yourself if you things don’t go to plan. 

Watching him cut the cord or hold your baby within minutes of the birth will be a memory you’ll treasure forever – but watching someone you love in pain can be a shock to the system, so make sure he knows exactly what to expect before you sign him up.

Read together

Many books for dads are based on the assumption that they don’t know one end of a baby from the other. 

Fortunately there’s also plenty of practical information out there which will help him learn more about your pregnancy and prepare him for both the birth and life as a new parent. 

Encourage him to read up on everything from pregnancy health to child development and different parenting styles – the more he knows the more involved he will feel.

Take care of the practicalities

Pregnancy can be exhausting especially in the early days, and practical help with household chores will give you a break as well as letting you know that you’re both in this together. 

It may sound sexist, but in the later stages dads can really come into their own with manly pursuits like decorating the nursery, stripping down the buggy or putting the cot together. 

And as the big day approaches they can help by learning the route to hospital, fitting the car seat and making sure there’s change for parking – all of which will allow you to focus on the matter in hand.

Breastfeeding

Dads may not be able to produce milk, but there’s plenty they can do to support when it comes to breastfeeding.  Research shows that women are more likely to breastfeed if their partner is supportive so first make sure he knows why it’s so important and that he fully understands the benefits for both you and your baby. 

He can make himself useful by bringing baby to you, burping them afterwards, handing you a glass of water (it’s thirsty work) or helping out with chores so you can focus on feeding.  

And with a bottle of expressed milk he can even do the odd night shift, letting you get some uninterrupted sleep.

Get fit

No matter how healthy you are, chances are you’ve had to make a few lifestyle changes since becoming pregnant. 

Whether it’s stopping smoking, giving up kickboxing or sacrificing the food or drink you love it can be lonely if you feel you’re the only one making the effort. 

OK, so he doesn’t have to give up soft cheese, but he can show he cares by cutting back the booze or getting in shape – he’ll be fit and well for the rigours of fatherhood and you’ll have someone to keep you on the straight and narrow.

Choose a name

Theoretically choosing a name you can both live with is one time your partner can contribute on an equal footing during pregnancy. 

In reality it seems you have the casting vote, with one survey revealing that four out of 10 dads are forced to back down when it comes to a name for their newborn. 

If things are getting heated, step back and remember it’s his baby too – and if you really can’t bear his suggestions try drawing up a shortlist you both agree on, or compromising on a middle name.

Bond with baby

There’s no reason why dads should wait until the birth to develop a relationship with their baby. 

Research has found that babies can distinguish their parents’ voices at 30 weeks, and that if your partner talks regularly to them, they will recognise and respond to his voice after birth. 

Stroking, singing or talking to your bump will all help him think of your baby as a real person, and reassure your baby that the world is a safe and familiar place.

Financial planning

Babies don’t come free, so if you’re planning to buy everything they need and survive on a reduced salary you’ll need to get your heads together and start budgeting before your little one arrives. 

Your partner may be the main breadwinner for a while, so he can help take financial responsibility early on with joint decisions on big purchases, mortgage payments and savings plans. 

Bear in mind he may feel under pressure in his new role as provider, and talk through any worries before you’re in full swing of caring for a newborn.