12 parenting resolutions for 2012

Learn something new together

When we all struggle to spend enough time with our children, it's important that we make the most of the moments we have.

Embarking on a small project is a fun, relaxed way to spend time together, and if it's a 'flow' activity (ie, something gently absorbing like cooking, gardening or painting), then it doubles up as a great stress reliever too.

Whether it's trying a new cookie recipe, or planting a herb garden, chat with your child to see what kind of project she'd enjoy.

Be your own secretary

'Get organised' often tops our resolution lists - but not all of us are born with the necessary skills.

'I lead a very carefree existence before I had Lyla,' says iVillager Jennifer, 32. 'And it wasn't until I'd scraped through the first two years of motherhood in a blur that I stopped and thought, "There has to be a better way than this." So I vowed to clear away household clutter, be diligent about writing down appointments and plan the week's meals on a Sunday night.'

Such measures might not make your heart flutter with excitement - but they can be life-changing, as Jennifer discovered.

Make time to talk

Whole days can flash by without you and your child grabbing a chance to chat. And no wonder - British working mothers spend an average of just 81 minutes a day looking after their children, according to a study by the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development.

Yet it's important to stay in the loop about how your child feels about school and friendships - as well answering the myriad of questions she has.

Sometimes, chatting on the sofa instead of turning on the TV, or walking to the shops instead of driving, can create an opportunity for a catch-up.

Figure out a flashpoint strategy

Often, in making our resolutions unrealistic, we set ourselves up for failure. Vowing to never lose your temper with the kids is a pretty tough call - but you can work out ways to take off the heat before you blow your lid.

Start by figuring out when flashpoints tend to occur - during long car journeys, or when everyone's cooped up indoors on rainy days? The silent counting-to-ten method can to avoid an angry outburst, as can vowing not to intervene during those numerous petty squabbles.

Switch off your 'work head'

Technology might streamline our lives - but it can also mean it's virtually impossible to switch off from work (in a recent IKEA survey, 23 per cent of Brits admitted to taking their laptops to bed).

Make this the year that, when you finish work, you really do finish - so no checking messages or poring over paperwork at the kitchen table.

If your job makes this resolution unrealistic, try to at least reserve one weekend day when work isn't allowed to encroach on family time. Which means not taking your Blackberry to the park...

Roll up your sleeves

Volunteering might not be your cup of tea, but studies show that community involvement boosts confidence, gives us a keen sense of purpose and perks up our social lives.

'I was virtually press ganged into becoming secretary for our local playgroup,' says Carol, 37, mum to five year-old Grace and Zoe, two. 'But as we'd just moved to the area it turned out to be a godsend in helping me to deal with my shyness and make friends. It forced me to brush up my organisational skills too.'

According to a study by Home-Start, the UK's leading family support charity, almost two thirds of its volunteers say they feel 'more valued' as a result of helping others.

Make time for hugs

In today's box-ticking world, it's tempting to pack our children's days with activities and experiences - while forgetting how beneficial (and, let's face it, lovely) a hug can be.

Cuddles make a child feel safe and secure, which in turn boosts confidence and self esteem.

A hug is a moment of closeness in an otherwise hectic day - so next time you're rushing off to tackle your next task, ask yourself, is it really more important than a cuddle with your child?

Sneak in those veg

Find it challenging to encourage your child to eat his five-a-day?

If you’re determined to improve his diet this year, try offering small, non-food rewards: in an American study, offering a sticker was shown to be highly effective in encouraging three to four-years to try a ‘tiny taste’ of previously disliked vegetables.

You can also sneak extra pureed or finely-diced veg into soups, pasta sauces and shepherd’s pies - 5-a-day for Kids Made Easy by Karen Bali (White Ladder Press, £9.99) is choc-ful of clever ideas.

Love what you have

When new year's resolutions usually involve self denial, try to make sure you include a few positive ones too.

Appreciating what you have might sound hippy-dippy - but when we spend so much time worrying about our children's wellbeing and achievements, it's important to reflect on what's great about being a parent.

As Lucy, a 40-year-old mum of three puts it: 'Sometimes I find myself falling into a spiral of negativity, moaning about all the noise, mess and work the kids create. Then we'll all be tucked up under a blanket, watching a movie together, and I'll think, this is what it's all about.'

Be active together

If you’re frustrated at the lack of time to nip to the gym, try to figure out how you and your family can get fit together.

Whether it’s cycling in the countryside or running around in the park, you’ll show your child that being active makes him feel stronger and happier, and is great fun too.

The younger they start, the better. If your child learns to love embarking on adventurous hikes with you (perhaps with a camp fire or treasure hunt at the end of it), it’ll lay the foundations for a fit, healthy adolescence - and whittle your waistline too.

Cut each other a little slack

We all know parenting can be stressful, so it’s no wonder we have twice as many 'couple rows' as before we had kids (with most spats caused by tiredness or disagreements over the children's routines, according to researchers MumPoll).

Instead of blaming or bickering, try to see things from your partner’s perspective: could they be as tired as you are? Could each of you help to reduce the burden on the other?

Remember you’re working together, with the same goals and concerns. Often, showing a little kindness is all it takes to bring you closer together, as a couple and a team.