12 things every parent is ashamed of

Not bathing the kids every day

Sure, all the splashing and bubbles might be fun - but children don't need a daily bath. In fact, even plan water - without bubble bath - can lead to dry skin conditions if your child comes into contact with it too often, as it strips away some of the skin's natural oils.

The American Academy of Paediatricians recommends twice-weekly bathing for babies (you can just clean the face, neck, hands and bottom on the other days).

Sometimes, by the end of a frantic day, you just want to skip bathtime and tuck your child up in bed - and no one's going to call the parenting police over that.

Losing the plot in the car

The most mild-mannered of us can succumb to road rage, gesticulating and mouthing threats at other drivers. While it's a natural response to stress (which causes our respiratory and heart rates to quicken), try to adopt strategies to keep yourself calm at the wheel.

Deep breathing from the diaphragm really helps, and playing soothing music can help too. And do try to make sure the kids have something to occupy them, as bickering children were cited as the top distraction for drivers in one study.

Let's face it - brawling in the back seat is the last thing a stressed driver needs...

Missing your child's performance 

While you'd love to share your child's big moment, modern life is hectic and sometimes it's just not possible. If you can accept this, and move on from it instead of lamenting about how bad you feel, your child is far more likely to come to terms with it too.

'When I feel terrible about missing a school play or concert, I try to keep into proportion by reminding myself of the dozens events I have been to,' says iVillager Helen, 39. 'Of course, Esther [aged seven] likes to remind me, "You didn't come, Mummy!" But I'll point out that her dad or gran was there, and on that occasion it just couldn't be helped. Then I quickly change the subject...'

Not helping with homework enough

When homework is often tackled as you're just home from work or preparing the evening meal, it can be tricky to be on hand as much as you'd like.

Yet your job isn't to hover your child, virtually doing the work for him - and you're probably helping a lot more than you think. Just talking about your child's assignment shows you're interested, and providing a quiet place for him to complete it (with the TV off) sends the message that you believe it's important.

In matters of homework - like so many aspects of parenting - doing the best you can is usually good enough. 

Always feeling hurried and harassed

While it might not be how we imagined parenthood to be, all of us feel rushed and resentful at certain points in the day. Myleene Klass, mother to Ava and Hero, acknowledges that motherhood can feel like 'a thankless task when you've done three loads of laundry and cleaned the kitchen surfaces a gadzillion times.'

Meanwhile, Kate Beckinsale, mother to Lily, admits, 'I do sometimes feel like that Exorcist lady.'

Don't feel ashamed if daily life rarely runs smoothly, with all tempers intact. The odd flare-up is horribly normal - and the best can do is apologise afterwards.

Not turning out cupcakes like these

Ah... the great parenting bake-off. For some reason, producing a child is expected to trigger some previously dormant cake-making gene, and attending your first few coffee mornings, with eerily professional cupcakes and brownies on offer, is enough to make the non-baker feel unworthy.

Instead, play to your strengths and remind yourself of the numerous things you can do brilliantly. So what if bicarbonate of soda isn't your friend? If you're hosting a mums-and-toddlers get together, hold your head high and buy your cakes - it's what shops are for, after all.

Wanting to get the kids to bed as early as possible

You might feel a stab of shame because you don't want your little ones around late into the evening. In fact, a regular bedtime - at a reasonably early hour - helps children to grow up into confident little people with plenty of energy to see them through their busy days.

Adults, too, need to recharge - and those precious few child-free hours in the evening can make all the different to your couple relationship.

'If I'd done one thing differently, I'd have established a proper bedtime far earlier,' says Ruth, mum to three year-old twins Michael and Grace. 'As it was, they were running around creating havoc until 11 most nights, right up until their third birthday.' The earlier you tackle this one, the better.

Yelling and swearing

While few of us have the self control to never raise our voices, swearing is something we feel particularly ashamed of.

'We had a particularly tense drive as we set off on holiday, and by the time we pulled in at the airport, the kids had learned a new phrase - "'ucking 'ell",' says iVillager Sophie, 41, who has children of two and four.

Children will mimic their parents, and swear words always sound so much worse when spouting from little mouths. It's worth training yourself to utter alternative expletives - but do remind yourself that they'll probably hear far worse at school...

Reading the riot act over something petty

With the publication of French Children Don't Throw Food by Pamela Druckerman (Doubleday), strict parenting appears to be back in vogue. Yet three out of ten parents admit to being a 'pushover', according to a survey by the Cadet movement.

With so many conflicting parenting styles and advice on offer, it's virtually impossible to be consistent, and occasionally you may feel you've overreacted to a minor matter. If you feel ashamed, apologise and explain why you reacted in the way you did.

No one's perfect, and it's good for children to realise that adults make mistakes sometimes, and are big enough to say sorry.

Arguing within earshot of the kids

Although it's what you want your children to hear, the odd blow-up is bound to happen in the course of a busy week.

In fact, children learn a great deal about relating to others from how their parents behave - and discovering that people make up (and still love each other) after a spat is a valuable lesson to learn.

As Rachel Weisz, mum to Henry, puts it, flaring up in anger 'doesn't make us less good or less human - just real.'

Having scruffy, ragamuffin kids

We all know the mother whose children are always beautifully turned out - but what is she sacrificing to maintain such impeccable standards? With the average child's complete wardrobe costing £1677, according to a survey by insurance company Sheila's Wheels, it makes sense for children to pull on cheap, knocked-about clothes for play.

And if you feel ashamed that your child lags behind in the style stakes (a third of kids own their first piece of designer clothing by age two, according to the survey), remind yourself that it's having fun that matters to your child, not being the best-dressed kid on the block.