17 bad dating profile lies

• 16 Lies you shouldn't tell on your online dating profile

  Diving into the virtual dating pool can be tricky business. After all, everyone wants to put their best foot forward - and sometimes that can lead to a tiny (or tremendous) bit of false advertising.

  In fact, up to 80 percent of online date-seekers pepper their profiles with less-than-truthful tidbits. (Like using a profile picture taken ten-years-and-two stone ago.) A little bending of the truth is fine-- but how far is too far?

  We asked Pepper Schwartz, the chief relationship expert at PerfectMatch.com and Julie Spira, author and the voice of CyberDatingExpert.com to share tips on the little white lies you'll definitely want to avoid!

  I'm 5'7'' (When You're Really 5'4")

  Why You Lie: Both men and women frequently exaggerate their height by at least a couple of inches, experts say, because they assume everyone is looking for a tall mate.

  Try This Instead: If you’re shorter and want to be taller, try saying this: 'I’m 5’4” - but I always wear heels.' If you’re taller and only open to dating dudes who tower over you (even just a little bit!), state that in your profile to avoid messages from the shorties.

• The lie: I’m divorced

  Why You Lie: People who are separated often say they are divorced because they assume – rightly -- that many people won't want to get involved with someone who’s still going through the mess that is the end of a marriage.

  Try This Instead: If you're separated, use this phrase: 'I’m separated, divorce pending.' This shows you didn’t just get in a big fight and are sleeping in separate rooms while you explore your options online and decide if your marriage is worth ditching.

• The lie: I’m not looking for a serious relationship

  Why you lie: Lots of online daters say what they think other people want to hear, which may or not be the real deal. 'Sometimes people say that when they are [already] in a serious relationship but not engaged or are single but still in love with an ex,' Schwartz explains.

  Try This Instead: It can be scary for women who really do want a long-term mate to be upfront about it, for fear that men will be turned off. But it's important to be clear about whether you’re playing the field or looking for your soul mate. Craft your profile page in a way that shows you're committed to finding a mate, without flat-out saying: 'I'm looking for the real deal' - and guys looking for the same thing will take note.

• The lie: this is a recent, realistic photo of me

  Why you lie: We all know others judge us on our looks (and hello, we do it too!), so it makes sense to want to put your most photogenic foot forward, so to speak. However, old, photoshopped, strategically cropped or otherwise enhanced images are false advertising - plain and simple. (And since you are doing this ostensibly to meet someone in person, you won’t pull this lie off for long.)

  Try this instead: Email your closest friends (including the male ones!) and ask them to pick a few pictures off of your Facebook page that make you look best. It's okay to include the best photo of you ever taken, but make sure it still looks like you! Try to pick a recent shot - and not one from when you put on a Farrah Fawcett wig for a 70s-themed party.

  Finally, remember to crop yourself out in group photos, so no potential dates are confused by your friend who happens to be a blue-eyed brunette, like you.

• The lie: I make lots of money

  Why you lie: It's the double-edge sword of being a successful female: we're proud of our careers but afraid guys may be intimidated if we make more money than they do. However, as Schwartz says, any misrepresentation can stir up mistrust if/when you actually get to know someone.

  Try this instead: 'You don’t have to give away everything in your profile,' Spira says. 'And not every omission is a lie.' Don't express your career in pounds, instead leave that section of your profile blank.

  If your career is important to you, illustrate your passion: 'I've been lucky to be successful doing something I love, and I enjoy my executive management position.' Online daters will see your dedication, instead of possibly being put off by what seems like bragging.

• The lie: my gate swings both ways

  Why you lie: Some women think this makes them seem impossibly hot and sexy to guys.

  Try this instead: Be blunt and bold: 'Here’s what I’m into. Love it or leave it.' And if you haven't kissed a girl and liked it, don't say you have.

• The lie: I wrote this profile

  Why you lie: Not everyone has a magical way with words, so some people get their more gifted friends to pen their profiles. 

  Try this instead: Have your close friends pick three words to describe your best qualities before you start writing. After you finish writing, ask them to look over and possibly clean it up, but remember the idea is you’re selling yourself - not some super-slick, stylised, funnier-than-you-really-are version of you.

• The lie: I'm in no hurry to have kids

  Why you lie: Saying 'I want kids' may seem like a big turnoff to dudes (and a bit desperate) - so some women skirt around the topic or act nonchalant.

  Try this instead: If you don't want kids just yet, either omit the kid discussion totally or say: 'I want kids - someday!' If you're ready to start a family now - don’t mess around this one, be specific about your desire to start a family without actually admitting that your biological clock is ticking.

  Being truthful will help you find a mate who wants and values the same things that you do.

• The lie: I don't smoke or drink

  Why you lie: The unwritten p.s. here is 'Except when I’m partying. Which is every other day. But I don’t smoke and drink all day every day or anything.' Some daters downplay their party personas in an effort to appeal to the broadest field of options (or they convince themselves they would stop smoking/drinking for the right person).

  Try this instead: It’s okay to say: 'I’m a social drinker/smoker' or 'I occasionally indulge in these activities but would like to quit.' Chances are, you’ll find someone in the same boat.

  It’s also okay to say: 'Hell yeah, I smoke and drink, so if you don’t like it, don’t bother replying.' Cheers to being truthful!

• The lie: I live nearby

  Why you lie: You live close... five towns over. Face it: Geographic desirability plays into online dating in a big way. If you’re a busy working professional/parent/paramedic, you may not want to drive 45 minutes each way to grab a coffee.

  Try this instead: Think about how far you’ll go for romance and say this: 'Yes, I live in Outer Nowhere, but I’m highly portable and willing to relocate eventually for love.'

• The lie: I love animals

  Why they lie: Folks who have a take-em-or-leave-em attitude toward pets might put this in their profile to beef up their warm-and-fuzzy factor. If you say this and don’t mean it, however, your charade won’t last long with a die-hard animal lover.

  Try this instead: If furry friends aren’t your favourite, feel free to not mention the topic at all. If you love your cat or dog nearly like a child, it can be a good talking point for someone who is equally obsessed with their pet.

• The lie: I love sports and adventure

  Why you lie: You may love it in theory - or enjoy watching the Olympics on TV - but put this in your profile and your new beau may be expecting you to hike Kilimanjaro or enter the London Marathon with him.

  Try this instead: Give a synopsis of what your interest really are: 'I enjoy (watching) tennis and (playing) miniature golf, and am open to trying other fun activities. Or we could just go wine tasting and call it a day.'

• The lie: I have an Oxbridge education

  Why they lie: There's a difference between a degree from Oxford and 'I took a weekend writing workshop at Nottingham Trent.' To some people, the fancy piece of paper matters; to others it doesn’t.

  Try this instead: Regardless of whether you went to Stanford or your local community college, there's no need to refer to your alma mater in your profile - unless you're super active in your school's alumni scene.

• The lie: I'm deeply religious

  Why you lie: To some people this is a way of saying 'You can trust me, I’m a good person.' But pretending to be deeply devout - when in reality you’re semi-spiritual at best - can be an instant deal-breaker.

  'Very religious people say this because they wouldn’t be comfortable with someone who has different beliefs,' Schwartz explains. 'Others try to be PC and say ‘I’m open to all faiths’ when in reality they have a preference.’'

  Try this instead: Consider how much religion matters to you before placing it in your profile. If you would prefer someone with similar beliefs, try this: 'I’m a practicing Catholic and would be happiest with someone who shares my same beliefs.' But if religion isn't a dealbreaker, don't include it.

• The lie: I’m fluent in Mandarin/French/Pig Latin

  Why you lie: Everyone wants to sound wise and worldly, but being able to ask where the bathroom is in French does not make you bilingual.

  Try this instead: Be casual and brief: 'I enjoy traveling and can order a beer in six languages!' Or if you're (truly!) learning a language or taking classes, say that: 'I've always wanted to learn Spanish and have a trip to Spain in September, so I took the plunge and signed up for classes.'

• The lie: your size and shape don't matter

  Why you lie: It’s nice to play nice and to be PC, but if you’d never go on a second date with a guy who was shorter with you or a dude with a beer belly he's not interested in losing - be an even nicer person by saving everyone time and trouble by offering some general guidelines about your type. (Just don’t be too restrictive. Saying 'I only date men over 6'3" with six-pack abs' will seriously limit your options.)

  Try this instead: Spin it in a way that doesn't sound condescending: 'I’m an avid runner and I'd love to find someone who can keep up with me on the track.' Or if height is important to you, try this: 'I'm a sucker for any guy I can wear my tallest heels with.'

• The lie: I enjoy opera, the ballet and foreign films

  Why you lie: Women want to seem well-rounded and educated, but the truth here can range from 'I’ve never actually been to the opera or seen a foreign film but I suspect I might not totally hate them' to 'I feel like I should like these things even though I’d rather have a root canal without anesthesia than sit through either experience.'

  Plus, an avid art enthusiast will expect you to share the same cultural knowledge he has, so you won't get away with this lie for long.

  Try this instead: If you're open to expanding your artistic taste buds, say this: 'I'm open to discovering a wide variety of cultural events - want to tell me about your favourite musical/play/ballet/opera?' If the whole scene seems like a bore to you, don't bring it up.

• Next Up: 18 body language clues that let you know he's interested

  If you're unsure of the signals he's sending your way, here's our simple guide to help...

See also:

• Online dating red flags to avoid
• The ultimate ways to surprise your partner every day
• A how-to guide to sexting