5 ways to make anyone fall in love with you
In her book, Superflirt, Tracey Cox reveals five simple tricks that you can use to make just about anyone fall in love with you. You won't believe how easy it is to win over the object of your affection...
Some people will read this and think what I'm suggesting is wrong. I admit it's about manipulating and meddling with people's emotions, most particularly, people you wish to God would meddle with you. In an ideal world, I'd agree; it would be preferable if everyone you wanted just fell in your lap without having to play games. Unfortunately, real life doesn't always work that way.
Sometimes you can spend six months living, breathing, dripping, drooling, loving and lusting after someone with zero result. And it's when that happens that the techniques that follow suddenly seem like a gift from heaven. Besides, it's not like I'm proposing black magic or suggesting any of these techniques will force someone to fall in love with you against their will (if they did, I'd currently be shacked up with Brad Pitt). What they will do though is nudge the odds a lot higher in your favour. Is that really so bad? I don't think so. Go on, keep reading. You know you want to...
1. Hang around lots... but then be unavailable
The more you interact with someone, the more they'll like you, says David Lieberman, an expert in human behaviour. He's right actually. Several studies show repeated exposure to practically any stimulus makes us like it more (the only time it doesn't hold true is if our initial reaction to it is negative). So forget about being aloof, evasive, and unavailable in the beginning. Instead, find lots of excuses to spend time with him.
Now, pay attention, because this is the tricky part. Just when you're convinced you've won them over and they like you, start being a little less available. And then even less, until they hardly see you at all.
You've now effectively instigated the 'law of scarcity'. We all know this one: people want what they can't have and by constantly being available, you diminish your value. If every time you walked outside your front door there was a huge pile of diamonds to step over, you'd hardly see them as precious would you? The law of scarcity only makes them want you. Be around and then not around and they'll want and like you. I'm stating the obvious here, but liking someone is important.
We talk endlessly about chemistry, passion, sexual attraction, and even more about love, yet the word 'like' rarely gets a mention. Opposites don't attract long-term; we search for similarities in a partner. Most of us can't see the point in hanging around friends we don't like, so why do it with a lover? Liking someone is more important long-term than actually loving them. It's not just similarities in our personalities that count. If you go out with someone who looks like you, they're four times more likely to fall in love with you!
2. Don't do nice things for them. Let them do nice things for you
If you do something nice for someone, it makes you feel good on two levels. You feel pleased with yourself and warm toward the person you've just spoiled. To justify the effort or expense, we often over-idealise how wonderful he is to deserve it! End result: we like the person more. When someone does something nice for us, we're pleased. But there are a whole lot of other emotions that come into play, and they're not all good.
Sometimes we feel overwhelmed. There's pressure to live up to being the wonderful person who inspired such a gift/act, not to mention pressure to return the favour. It's even trickier if the 'nice thing' comes from someone you like very much but aren't sure about yet. Got the point? When we're infatuated with someone, we're desperate to do nice things for them. You're much better off letting him spoil you.
Love it or loathe it, Valentine's Day is an opportunity for couples to indulge and singles to flirt....