65 steps to better sex
Sex basics: no deep diving
Make him stay at the shallow end to make sex better for you. US sex gurus Masters and Johnson found that the outer third of the vagina is the most sensitive, so deep thrusting isn't essential. Have him 'dip' the tip of his penis into your vagina - it'll feel great for both of you.
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Sex basics: get experimental
Spice up your sex life by doing it in the cupboard under the stairs - seriously. Novelty is an intense aphrodisiac, and any unusual setting with strange sensations, smells and muffled sounds, will make sex feel new, upping the excitement.
Sex basics: keep it clean(ish)
Have your man sit on top of the washing machine while you have sex (you perched on top, with your legs wrapped around his waist). The vibrations carry through his penis, turning it into a wonderful vibrator. Select the cottons cycle for the best results. It's a warm wash so his bum won't get cold, plus it has the longest, fastest spin. Feel those good vibrations.
Share intimate advice on the Let’s Talk About Sex message boardSex basics: a new angle
By placing a pillow under your bottom you're creating an orgasm optimum 26-degree pelvic tilt, which means maximum contact between his body and your clitoris. This way you'll reach orgasm every time.
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Sex basics: go red
Colours create a sexy mood. Red, dark blue and violet are the three most erotic colours. And the least erotic? Grey.
Sex basics: a sexy soak
Sex in the bath is fun but can be tricky. Try this: fill the bath halfway with water, then pour plenty of bath gel over each other's bodies. With your man lying down in the bath, lie on top of him and, instead of going for pentrative sex, stimulate each other to climax by rubbing your body on his.
Sex basics: good vibrations
Take turns with the TongueJoy Oral Vibrator (from blissbox.com). Strapped to your tongue, the vibrations stimulate nerve endings like you've never felt before.
Sex basics: play Twister...
...in the nude. And wet. It removes inhibitions and gets you in positions you wouldn't usually attempt.
Bedroom basics: Don't go solo with your vibrator
Only 25% of women climax through penetrative sex alone, so get your man to pleasure you with a sex toy while he's at it.
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Sex basics: Talk dirty
Ask him to talk to you when he's going down on you. The vibrations from his voice and the unpredictability of it will make you come even quicker.
Sex basics: good taste
Feed your man cinnamon, cardamom, peppermint and lemon if you're planning to give him oral pleasure. It'll make his semen taste nicer.
Sex basics: bad taste
And don't let him near garlic, onions, curry or asparagus - all these foods will make his semen taste unpleasant.
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Sex basics: pearls for him
Convince him to buy you more jewellery by masturbating him with a string of pearls. Use lots of lubrication, then wrap the pearls around the shaft of his penis, slowly stroking them up and down. They'll add different levels of stimulation to the experience.
Sex basics: he nose it
Ask him to use his nose when he's going down on you. Most men genuinely love the smell of a woman and the nose makes an excellent clitoral stimulator. (Now you know why some women love men with big noses!)
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Sex basics: take to the road
If you enjoy outdoor sex, try this: take a drive to the country, open the car's sunroof and perch yourself on the edge of it, with your legs dangling down inside. Now have your man - who is still inside the car - lick you to orgasm. If anyone should pass by, you'll simply look like you're sunbathing and, once you're done, it's his turn.
Sex basics: get dizzy
Have sex on a swivel chair to make sex really exciting. 'The spinning sends fluid rushing around the balance mechanism in your inner ear,' says Men's Health medical editor Dr Keith Hopcroft, and this disorientation makes you feel like you're floating. Get ready to land on Cloud 9.
Sex positions: limber up!
Make your man feel bigger inside you by placing your legs over his shoulders when having sex in the missionary position. Doing this shortens your vaginal canal, so he'll feel much longer.
Sex positions: give him a squeeze
Lie face-down on the bed and invite your man to lie on top of you, keeping his legs outside yours. The squeeze of your thighs on his penis will intensify sensation for him and for you.
Sex positions: the tuck
Sit on top of him with your feet tucked in tight either side of his bum. Now lean back as though you were riding a bucking bronco and enjoy the extra stimulation on the front wall of your vagina - an incredibly sensitive spot.
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Sex positions: doggy revisited
Make doggy style work for you. Kneel on the edge of the bed and put your face and upper chest on the mattress, so you create a 'slide' with your back. This steep angle elongates the vaginal barrel, squeezing his penis. Plus you can enjoy the added stimulation on your nipples from the mattress!
Sex positions: sexy spoons
Get extra clitoral stimulation in the classic 'spoons' position with a simple body twist. Lying on your left sides, place your right leg over the top of his and your left leg between his. Now position yourself so you're almost flat on your back. Grip his right leg and grind away - this is a sure-fire route to orgasm for you.
Sexual appetite: scream for ice cream!
Make oral sex better for you and for him with some ice cream. But don't just spoon it on - buy an ice cream cone, bite off the end and slip it over his still-soft penis. Now add the ice cream and take your time nibbling and licking until he's so hard that he breaks out of the cone! Try using ice cream topping to supercharge your sex: you get to choose where you get licked by painting numbers on yourselves. Simply start at number one, and lick your way through to 69.
Who ever said ice cream was just for kids?
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Sexual appetite: crush a grape
Chill some grapes in the freezer for at least 20 minutes. Use them to trace shapes on each other's bodies - the cold, wet sensation will send shivers up your spines.
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Sexual appetite: get your greens
Peel two thirds of a reasonably sized cucumber (make it organic, you don't want pesticides on your skin), and leave in the freezer for 40 minutes. Have your man rub it over your breasts and inner thighs, and use it to stimulate his nipples and testicles. Just watch as his very own 'cucumber' stands to attention!
Sexual appetite: getting fruity
Forget unwieldy ice cubes for adding sensation to oral sex - pop a mouthful of frozen berries or tropical fruits in your mouth instead. They taste great and are a lot easier to hold in your mouth while he's in your mouth.
Sexual appetite: minty fresh
Take turns pouring minty alcohol into your belly buttons, dipping your tongues and tracing shapes around each other's bodies. Now gently blow to increase evaporation, which will add to the stimulation. Hopefully before you're both the wrong side of squiffy and a funny shade of green.
Sexual appetite: chemical high
Forget the old sex and chocolate recommendations - cheese contains more phenylethylamine, the chemical that gives you that chocolate 'high'. So order a cheese platter after dinner and see if doesn't get you both in the mood.
Sexual appetite: plain and simple
If you still prefer chocolate, make it plain rather than milk. The dark stuff has a much higher cocoa solids content (and therefore more feel-good chemicals).
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Sexual appetite: start the day the right way
To get him ready for sex in the morning, make him cereal with chopped apple and almonds - both have high levels of phenylethylamine, which will help get him in the mood.
Sexual appetite: what a pear!
Eat avocado to get in the mood for love. It's loaded with the feel-good, pleasure-intensifying substance, phenylethylamine.
Sexual appetite: break open the bubbles
Take a swig of champagne before going down on him. Keep it in your mouths by creating a 'seal' with your lips, then use your tongues to swirl the bubbles around the head of his penis. Nerve endings react to the bubbles, heightening sensation, and when he's suitably satisfied he can do the same for you.
Food and sex: getting fresh
Most people know that mints can make oral sex even better (and is handy for freshening breath, too), but did you know that M&S's Curiously Strong Mints are your best choice? 'They contain peppermint oil, which has a higher content of menthol than spearmint, making them zingier in your mouth,' says clinical nutritionist Farah Mohamed. And on your private parts.
Fire up your foreplay: get rough
Don't be too gentle when you're giving him a helping hand. Although you must never bend an erect penis (it can break), you do need to apply a fair amount of force when masturbating him - particularly when he's about to come. If you're still in doubt, try masturbating in front of each other - you'll both be turned on and will get to see how it's done.
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Fire up your foreplay: going deep
Men do love the sensation of their penis deep inside your throat. Why? Because there are so many more nerve endings at the penis tip and, when it rubs on the back of your throat, it feels great. So, to get more of him inside you, try doing it with him standing and you kneeling so your chin is raised, elongating your throat.
If deep throat makes you gag, just use your hands. Use your lips to move up and down his shaft and form an 'okay' sign with your fingers, following your lips' movement. This is the surest route to a mind-blowing orgasm for him.
Fire up your foreplay: the big O
Licking his penis like a lollipop is fine for foreplay but, if you're trying to get him to orgasm, he needs some friction. Form your lips in a tight 'O' shape (covering your teeth), so that as you move up and down his shaft the foreskin moves too, and make an effort to stimulate the head of his penis with the flat of your tongue as you come up. Get this trick right and he'll be more than happy to give you the tongue tickling you deserve too.
Fire up the foreplay: enjoy yourself
Don't get stuck on sucking him - there's nothing worse for a man than if a woman is 'working' too hard when giving fellatio. Relax, try to enjoy it, explore his penis with your tongue, lips and hands - don't head-bob for hours on end in the hope that he'll come soon. He'll come a lot quicker if it feels like you're enjoying it.
Fire up the foreplay: sweet music
Sing to him while you give him oral pleasure. The lower the notes the more vibrations he'll feel and, believe us, he won't care if you're in tune or not - it'll feel great.
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Fire up the foreplay: exploring unchartered territory
Explore his nether regions more fully. Many men don't even realise how pleasurable anal stimulation can be until some adventurous explorer shows them how. Use loads of lubricant (you can't have too much) and place your finger over his anus, initially stimulating it without penetrating. Once he's comfortable you can edge your finger in slowly, and when it's in an inch or so in, wiggle your finger in a 'come hither' motion. This stimulates his prostate gland, and you'll be surprised at how much he loves it.
Fire up your foreplay: watch the pros
Watch porn. A recent poll undertaken by The Mirror newspaper found that women are just as aroused by watching erotic films as men. So get cosy on the sofa and stick on a DVD - we recommend starting with a film like 9 and a Half Weeks or Emmanuelle.
Animal behaviour: go ape
Go ape to improve your sex life. Gorillas may have tiny penises (less than 3cm long) but they make up for it with hours of arousing mutual grooming. Doing this releases pleasure-inducing brain chemicals and makes great foreplay. Have your man wash your hair or ask him to rub your body lotion in. Or offer to scrub his back while he's in the bath. Who said sex had to be dirty?
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Animal behaviour: have a nibble
Seals bite each other during sex and it seems there's good reason for it. 'Gentle biting brings blood to the surface of the skin,' says sex expert Petra Boynton, 'making it more sensitive to touch.' Your reactions to each kiss or caress will be intensified, making you both come more quickly.
But avoid biting like a mink. These furry creatures also enjoy a good nibble but, sometimes, the males get it wrong and accidentally pierce the female's brain, killing her. Use a code word during sex to indicate that something is hurting or unpleasurable. Choose a word that you wouldn't normally say during sex, such as Coventry for example.
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Animal behaviour: make him unstoppable!
Tease your man into training by telling him about the male giant water bug. This unfeasibly energetic aquatic critter goes at it for 36 hours - non-stop! Persuade him to do at least three 30-minute sessions of rowing, cycling or running a week - he'll soon be winning gold in the sexual Olympics too.
He says:
'When my girlfriend's on top, she sometimes does this extra-special move: instead of moving up and down, she does a figure-of-eight swivel with her hips. It really works for me.'
He says:
'I met this Croatian girl last year who kept a bottle of vodka in the freezer. When we had sex, she'd drink some, then lick my nipples and my neck, lightly blowing on the area afterwards. Amazing.'
He says:
'I love it when a girl stimulates me with her hands while she's standing behind me. Not being able to see her makes it feel naughty, plus it rids her of any inhibitions.'
He says:
'There's nothing better than having a girl wrap her legs around you, locking her ankles together. That way she's got leverage to push back at you with every thrust.'
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He says:
'I just love it when a girl keeps some of her clothes on during sex - skirt, shirt or, better still, boots or stilettos. It makes it feel illicit - and so arousing.'
He says:
'My girlfriend loves going down on me while I'm still soft. It really turns her on to think that she can make me hard with a few flicks and twists of her tongue. And it feels great to get hard in her mouth.'
He says:
'After my partner had our second child, she did pelvic exercises to strengthen her vaginal muscles. A few months later, the sex was better than ever.'
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He says:
'The best oral sex involves more than a mouth and tongue. If a girl uses her hands and feels my abs or my bum while she's going down on me, it gives me the strongest orgasm.'
He says:
'My wife's just had a baby, so sex feels different now. But she's developed this great new trick: she slips her hand down between us, with two fingers either side of the base of my penis. The extra friction makes me come really easily and the pressure on her clitoris makes her orgasm too.'
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He says:
'Penetration isn't essential for a great orgasm. An ex-girlfriend of mine used to sit on top of me, with my penis flattened against my stomach. Then she'd slide herself up and down the shaft without letting it go inside her. If I shut my eyes it felt exactly like a mouth.'
He says:
'My girlfriend ties a stocking around the base of my penis before it's erect. Then she licks me till I'm hard. She keeps licking and sucking, but when she senses I'm about to come, she pulls the stocking a little tighter, loosening it again when the moment's passed. When I finally do come, it's really powerful.'
He says:
'I get embarrassed by the idea of my wife tying me up, but sometimes she simply holds me down by the wrists. It's great feeling like I'm at her mercy but without the silly props.'
He says:
'When performing oral sex, put your tongue inside her vagina and move it around before taking it out, and licking upwards, kissing and gently sucking the clitoris as you go'.
He says:
'We've got a mirror in the wardrobe next to our bed, and I just love it when my girlfriend's on top with her back diagonally on to it. I get to watch the action from behind and the front! Better than any porn film.'
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He says:
'When I go down on my girlfriend she lies on her side with one foot flat on the bed and her knee bent, and I lick her side-on, rather than lengthways. I find it much easier to get to her clitoris, and once I'm done she's more than happy to return the favour.'
He says:
'My girlfriend and I cover ourselves in baby oil, then once I'm inside her she lies flat on top of me. The full-body contact as she slides up and down feels phenomenal.'
She says:
'When my partner goes down on me I love him to do a "come here" signal very slowly with two fingers inside me, especially if he's gently licking my clit at the same time.'
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She says:
'Set the scene by dressing-up in sexy underwear, light candles and put on some soft background music. Answer the door wearing a bathrobe and, once the door is closed, reveal what's beneath the robe'
She says:
'My partner and I like it if, during foreplay, I masturbate him to the point of climax and then move straight on to sex. This makes him last longer, without making him sore from too much penetrative sex'.
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She says:
'I get great clitoral stimulation when my partner lies on top and slightly to the side so I have one leg up slightly and bent, and the other flat. Instead of him just moving in and out, he also grinds, rubbing against me as I lift up and into him.'
She says:
Dare to go bare with a Brazilian wax. 'At first I felt a bit naked, but my boyfriend was so turned on that it made me feel sexier. Plus, having no hair down there makes that area extra sensitive'.
She says:
'Ban your hands! Explore each other's bodies with your nose, tongue, lips, hair, knees, toes - you'll be amazed at how sensational it feels.'
And finally...
Pick your favourite bits from this gallery and read out some of the suggestions to your partner. Ask him what he thinks - it's a subtle but effective way to kick-start frank discussion about your fantasies.
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