8 pregnancy & baby decisions that divide women

• Breast v Bottle

  It’s the mother of all parenting debates, guaranteed to make the most mild-mannered mums’ blood boil.  On one side are those who think formula is the work of the devil, on the other those who say they were bullied into breastfeeding or made to feel guilty for choosing not to. 

  Then there are those who receive negative comments for breastfeeding in public or come under pressure to ‘just give them a bottle.’  Sadly the worst offenders are often other mums, so think before you judge and be confident that you are doing the right thing – however you choose to feed your baby.

• Elective c-section vs natural birth

  Too posh to push?  When the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) said in 2011 that women should be allowed to choose a caesarean the news was met with predictable outrage. 

  Critics of elective c-sections say birth should be a natural experience rather than a medical process, and that surgery should always be a last resort.  Those in favour argue it’s just as safe as vaginal delivery and that it could mean some women avoid unnecessary psychological distress or an emergency caesarean. 

  Either way there’s no ‘easy option,’ so talk to your obstetrician who will help you decide what’s right for you.

• To drink or not to drink

  Enjoy what you consider to be a harmless drink during pregnancy and you could find yourself on the receiving end of disapproving stares, or even a lecture about the danger alcohol poses to your unborn child.  However, expert opinion is divided when it comes to what’s safe. 

  Current Department of Health guidelines say don’t drink at all, while NICE advises you steer clear in the first trimester after which it’s ok to have one or two units once or twice a week.  However you look at it, regular and heavy drinking isn’t good for you or your baby, so if you do want to indulge keep it to a minimum.

• Pain relief

  When it comes to writing a birth plan there’s only one thing on most women’s minds and that’s how they’ll handle the pain.  But while some will happily opt for an epidural from the outset others argue that pain relief slows down labour, detracts from the full experience or is just a plain cop-out. 

  After all, women have been giving birth for thousands of years without it, right?  However strongly you feel be prepared to change your mind - everyone’s pain threshold is different and you won’t know yours until you get there.

• Cloth nappies vs disposables

  Ever been frowned at as you casually toss your disposable into the nearest bin?  Or given pitying looks as you struggle through yet another 60 degree wash?  Whichever nappies you choose you’re bound to find someone who’ll tell you exactly why you’re doing it wrong. 

  Each side will play the environment card, whether it’s the disposable landfill mountain, or the vast amount of energy used to wash and dry cloth nappies.  There are pros and cons to each so before you decide weigh up all the options and resist the urge to comment on the choices made by others.

• A question of routine

  Does a strict routine really make for a happier infant?  For years the baby gurus have battled it out, with schedule queen Gina Ford loved and reviled by parents in equal measure.  Some experts say babies are happier and sleep better if they know exactly what to expect and when. 

  Others say you should feed on demand and let them establish their own patterns.  Ultimately, there’s no right or wrong way of doing things – providing your baby is fed, happy and sleeps at least sometimes surely that’s all that matters?

• Cry it out vs cuddle them to sleep

  How do you settle a howling baby so you all get some sleep?  For some parents controlled crying is the only way, while others whip them into the family bed at the first whimper.  Opponents of the cry-it-out method claim that leaving your baby to scream will damage their brain, while its supporters say co-sleeping is a recipe for disaster. 

  Take a deep breath.  Controlled crying doesn’t mean letting them scream for hours and the world won’t end if you cuddle them to sleep once in a while.  Providing you all get some rest it’s a job well done, however you arrive there.

• Hospital birth vs home birth

  Are you planning to have your baby at home?  If so, then depending on who you talk to, you’re either giving birth as nature intended (after all you’re pregnant, not sick), or recklessly endangering your baby’s life. 

  Proponents say you’ll be more relaxed and less likely to need medical intervention, however many women still wouldn’t dream of giving birth without a full medical team on hand.  Whatever your choice bear in mind the best laid plans can change, and don’t give yourself a hard time if you don’t get the birth you thought you wanted.

• Next Up: 10 pregnancy questions you’re too afraid to ask

  Pregnancy is a leap into the unknown but there are still some questions you feel

See also:

• 10 most life changing aspects of having a baby
• 10 pregnancy questions you’re too afraid to ask