A Brazilian wax
She arrived in Brazil with a full bush and left with a pruned, sculpted runway. Laura Fireman waxes lyrical about the benefits of a.
Let's not beat around the bush. Aremoves all the hair, from your tummy button right the way round to your coccyx, leaving just a neat little landing strip of hair above the vagina. The outer labia are usually waxed too.
Roots of wax
Brazilian women (Brasileras) are obsessed with depilation. This obsession begins on the beach with their aptly named 'dental floss' (filo dental) bikinis, and ends somewhere atop a bejewelled float at the Rio Carnival, where spraying your naked body gold and wearing a thin string of sequins in lieu of knickers is quite normal.
As no self-respecting Brasilera would be seen dead with a furry crack, the price ofin Brazil is kept low: a brazilian wax alone may set you back 50p. So, I decided to leave my inhibitions in my hotel room and head for a vagina defuzzing in the homeland of this wax technique.
Hot and sticky
The climate in Brazil lends itself to higher effectiveness of waxing; constant humidity in the air means that follicles are more open and skin more 'relaxed', creating less resistance when waxed. Brazilian salons generally use the traditional thick, honey wax, as opposed to the more hygienic and water-soluble waxes favoured in the UK. These honey waxes surround each hair in the follicle providing a deeper and more effective wax. The hair takes longer to grow back.
In the UK most salons provide paper knickers to protect your modesty, but out there, knickers are whipped off to leave your vagina bare. Before waxing, the skin is prepared with a dusting powder to soothe and dry your area. Lengthy hairs are snipped to allow the wax to sink well into the follicles for a better grip. The skin is held taut by both beautician and waxee when applying the wax and smeared on with a wooden spoon rather than a spatula.
Not only is your modesty tested, but your flexibility too as you're expected to put yourself into a wax-friendly position. This may include:
The doggy position - this involves kneeling on all fours on the waxing table. The beautician may also ask you to lean on your elbows and spread your legs wider. You will either feel like a sexy Hollywood porn star or a dog at the vets. In either case, it's best just to relax and think of England, as opposed to considering what the beautician might be eye to eye with.
The nappy changing position - this involves lying on your back with your legs in the air.
Contortionist - if you're not feeling bendy, this Yoga style position may leave you with one leg lodged behind your head and a torn hamstring to accompany your new-look muff.
The wax is then 'picked' at one edge (not covered with cloth strips) and whisked off whilst the skin is held taut (and your eyes clamped shut). Surprisingly, the pain is minimal. The skin reddens slightly as with any wax treatment, but feels clean, soft and smooth immediately afterwards.
After waxing, fresh aloe vera sap is applied. This acts as an antiseptic moisturiser that also dulls the reddening. Some salons favour pure coconut palm oil, which leaves you feeling silky and smooth and smelling decidedly tropical.
A word of warning. During one wax, the beautician invited her friend in whilst I was spread-eagled on the table and gossiped with her about the price of pineapples in the market whilst smothering me with hot wax. At one point she even enlisted her help to hold my bum cheek open. This is normal social behaviour in Brazil, but something I've yet to experience in the tranquil, pan-piped rooms of London salons.
With a completely naked underside and only a strip of fur up top, you do feel physically cleaner and mentally dirtier.
Suddenly you feel inclined to strut about the bedroom demanding all sorts of sexual acts from your partner which would have made your pre-wax bush bristle with embarrassment.
At every opportunity, you want to expose yourself and say: 'Look! Isn't it neat and pretty! Quick, feel how smooth it is!' And men LOVE it! Aside from the fact you've suddenly mutated into Voluptua Sasskin, you're now also volunteering your vaginal area for detailed gynaecological inspection from your boyfriend. Something he's constantly striven for and you've constantly prevented with a vice-like thigh clamp.
Sexual intercourse itself doesn't feel any better or worse with a brazilian, but your new-found adoration of your pruned privet heightens your sexual confidence.
As well as sexier, you feel cleaner too. However scarce our English summers, when it is hot outside, you can be sure that you'll feel breezy, cool and fresh inside. So, now that you look neater, feel cleaner and more sexually rampant, why would you ever go back to a steamy, unkempt, full bush?
When Carmen Miranda famously sang: 'I, I, I, I, I, I like you ve-ery much,' she was obviously talking to her smoothly brazilianed muff.