Adultery: why do men cheat

by Abby Schwartz and Eileen Livers

Like it or not men cheat. iVillage members get to the bottom of this issue

They have wandering eyes. They're obsessed with Page 3. They come home from one-too-many late nights at the 'office'; with lipstick on their collars. To whatever degree, men do cheat and they do it more than women. In the original Kinsey Report, approximately 60 per cent of men, compared to 30 per cent of women, were unfaithful to their spouses before the age of 40. Those numbers have remained much the same in subsequent studies. The bottom line is why do men cheat?iVillagers believe men cheat for the following five reasons:

1. SEX.
Men just can't control their eyes, hands and ...

'Women need a reason to have an affair, men just need a place' - go_getter

'Men will cheat if given the opportunity. They are just like that! They can be happy in their relationship and life, but if the opportunity to cheat is there, they will do it! I really believe they can't help it.' - ldrake5477

'I asked my boyfriend why men cheat.... He said, 'Men do it for sex'. He said that a man can have sex with another woman and not feel anything for her' - pismotam

2. Quick Fix.
Although sneaking around takes a lot of effort, many iVillagers believe that more effort is required to salvage a rocky relationship.

'People have affairs because they are lazy. It is easier to go running off with the office tramp than it is to admit something is wrong with your relationship and make a commitment to work on it' - jesusfreak1

'I think if people took half the time and effort they put into sneaking around and channelled that energy into making a great marriage or relationship, they would realise that, most of the time, what they are looking for has always been with them.' - who_dat

'Sometimes the thought of divorcing and changing everyone's lives is much too hard to handle. So the easier choice is an affair. I don't think it's the right choice, but most people will take the easier road, thinking no one will be hurt because they are keeping the marriage and family intact. - lovestargazer

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Anonymous replied 15 weeks 2 days ago

SOME PPL ARE JUST SO UNGREATFUL AT WHAT THEY HAVE AND DONT EVEN THINK TWICE ABOUT ANYTHING B4 THEY CHEAT

G.G. (not verified) replied 17 weeks 5 days ago

The answer is simple. You all have it wrong. Men 'cheat' because they are supposed to. This is a primal thing. This urge comes from a time before we knew how to speak, or were even self aware. This is in the DNA. All of these reasons like: 'He's not fulfilled', 'He doesn't feel appreciated', 'He has low self esteem' are all mere surface features on the psyche that that spans millions of years in evolution. The idea of marriage and monogamy (in Humans) are man made. We have been handing down these cultural influences on relationships for so long that we've convinced ourselves that 'cheating' is a practice that all good people agree is a sin and reprehensible and that we are normally predisposed to morality. We've been handing down lies. This is why women are so upset because they've been led to believe in a fairy tale that depicts beautiful wedding dresses and pure love that lasts forever and marital bonds that , as much as they are well intended, are paper thin in the face of much stronger and deeper instincts, profoundly rooted in our most ancient racial memory.

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Allison789 (not verified) replied 33 weeks 3 days ago

First of all not all men cheat! Secondly the reason anybody cheats is because they are not fulfilled! The book Woman Vs Womaniser by Jc Johnson breaks this down ver well.

elissar (not verified) replied 34 weeks 5 days ago

efforts and compromises could never work!! forcing things is just TEMPORARY! STOP analyzing! The answer is right here : how can any relationship or marriage be naturally healthy and happy when it is based on fake believes or needs!? There is No TRUE Love or TRUE Happiness. They don't exist, they never did The whole world have been heavily brainwashed since childhood, except some ancient natives. Everything we do, believe and feel is 100% FAKE, FALSE, EVIL and DANGEROUS. THAT'S the CORE of all problems in the world, and Not relationships, marriages or other

Helen W (not verified) replied 47 weeks 6 days ago

Generally married couples take each other for granted and forget the efforts that they made in the beginning of the relationships. Both partners need to make the effort when it comes to their appearance and attitudes towards each other. Get back into shape should always left for the women as they seem to always be dieting so should the men in there lives. When it comes to bedroom perhaps dressing up into some sexy lingerie. I always found this to be a good method to spice up the bedroom scence. I found a website that has some sexy lingerie called wondawoman.co.uk the service is great orders generally take upto 3 days but that gives me time to prepare for those special nights....I ve been married for over 13 years