Babies - tips for flying with them

Fiona Gibson offers an on-board survival guide for holiday-starved parents and infants

If we were sensible people with more than a smattering of gnarled brain cells, we would never attempt to fly with a baby. Come summer, we would plan a safe, stress-free trip, perhaps staying with a friend who lives across the street or, if we were feeling doubly daring, a Travelodge, three junctions up the motorway. We would certainly remember that taking baby on holiday requires so much bulky equipment that – apart from the workout provided by lugging such items on and off courtesy buses – it’s naive to expect it all to turn up, in one piece, on a carousel in Palma.

Parents don’t travel light

You probably won’t require the rain hood and Cosy Toes in Majorca, but what about freak summer storms and the possibility of being diverted via Greenland? Even thinking about it makes you sweaty and anxious. And all this even before you’ve found yourselves confined in a large – but not nearly large enough – pressurised metal container.

If I’m down on air travel with anyone under three feet tall, here’s why:

A fortnight ago, my partner and I spent so long loading the car with baby and kid-related paraphernalia that we had to drive to Newcastle airport at 95 miles per hour. When we arrived, we were labelled at the check-in with ‘late passenger – idiot’ stickers and forced to pelt through the concourse, our four year-old twins mimicking their distressed father: ‘ucking-ell, ucking-ell’.

Naturally, wise passengers show up early – air travel is edgy enough without babies in tow. You need to allow tons of time to check in, change and feed baby – plus, of course, purchase calm-inducing toiletries – to kick off the holiday on a more positive note.

Here’s how to breeze onto that plane with a serene smile and your lipstick on…

Use your noddle when booking the flight. Short- and long-haul flights are far more bearable in seats with extra legroom. There’s no guarantee you’ll nab one, but request when you book and tell them who you’ve got in tow.