Lucy's world was turned upside down when a one night stand led to an unexpected pregnancy. Trading her party heels for wellies, the 27-year-old city girl returned to her rural hometown to start her new life as a single mum. This candid weekly blog explores the highs and lows of new motherhood, rural living and a difficult baby daddy with a girlfriend in tow...
Since becoming a mummy…
…I’ve noticed that I’ve changed.
- I find myself giving advice to ‘newer’ mums without their asking for it.
- I always said ‘If I ever have a baby I’d dress it in ‘Primarni’ until they start school’ – I’ve spent so much money on expensive, pretty clothes for Olivia.
- I always rolled my eyes at parents who raved about how advanced, how beautiful their baby was. Now I totally believe Olivia is so frigging advanced and way more beautiful than any baby I have ever seen!
- I converse with Olivia in a baby-sing-song voice! Uh oh...
- I find myself watching children’s TV when Olivia is sleeping.
- I wonder how Olivia will be when she grows up and I want to better myself to become her role model.
- I’ve noticed how judgemental other parents are. There is hell of a lot of conflicting information out there, it’s easy to see how people could believe different things. For example, when it comes to weaning your baby. Do it at four months, six months, spoon feed, ‘BLW’ (baby-led weaning), chuck them a rusk, don’t dare give them a rusk, feed your baby ‘jar’ baby food, you’re the worst parent in the world if you give your baby jar food… yadda yadda yadda. I’m all for knowing the ‘facts’ or airing my opinion but we shouldn’t pick on people for their choices!
- I really don’t think you need all the equipment you’re led to believe you do. My house feels like a massive toy shop!
- I never thought I would feel so utterly proud of my sweet Olivia when she got her first tooth, when she rolled over for the first time, when she smiled, when she put her arms up and seemed to mumble ‘Mama’ when she wanted a cuddle.
- On a more serious note, I didn’t realise how many women suffer from PND. I am a member of a baby forum and a few ladies on there have different degrees of PND, it is so sad. I recently read an article in Glamour magazine which contained some facts, symptoms and details for a couple of organisations who can help*. Something as simple as a prolonged labour can trigger PND. It is nice to see that that it is spoken about and that there are people who can help those with PND.
*The Ceader house support group and Postpartum support international
I asked my mummy friends what ‘mummy behaviour traits’ they had noticed and here are a few things they said: smelling your baby’s bum to see if they’ve done something nasty – even in public! Singing everything at your baby; eating left over food, which has clearly been chewed, dropped on the floor, spat out; putting your hand out to catch the baby sick, without a tissue! Shall I go on? ...
Olivia and I are both ill at the moment with snotty winter colds and coughs. I hate seeing her so poorly-looking, it is a little heart breaking.
In other news, I lost 5lb last week and, as I had my friend staying this weekend, I seem to have piled it all back on! God knows how I did it as I really don’t think I ate that much. One baby step forward and two back!
Olivia has grown out of her beloved bouncy chair, well she did a while ago but she really loves it. I’ve done some investigating and have bought her an infant to toddler rocker, she likes it but it’s not the same movement as her last one. I wish I had known about this rocker when I was pregnant though as I wouldn’t have had the double expense of getting both the chairs. Live and learn, right! ;)
Nothing on the baby daddy or dating front – booo to the latter! I haven’t heard a word from baby daddy, I can’t believe that he doesn’t want to know how our daughter is doing from one month to the next. I think it shows how much he must love and care for her. I sometimes wish that he would just ‘do one’ all together, when she gets older and only sees him once a month or less she isn’t going to understand why he doesn’t want to see her more, and I don’t want it affecting her confidence. Bless her.
Call it PMT but I’ve found myself quite irritated about being a single mum this past week.
1. No Valentine’s/Mother’s Day card/present/lunch on the horizon…
2. Everyone yaps on about what their amazing ‘other half’ did for them recently
3. Fecking NEXT (as in the high street store)!!! Saw this really cute top in the shop that said ‘Mummy’s little girl’ on the front. Then, there on the back of the top in the most thoughtless, un-diverse way: ‘Definition of Mummy: 1, DADDY’S BOSS’
What the fuck!? Honestly, NEXT, I thought more of YOU! What a huge oversight you have made. What about the single mums, what about the ones who used a donor or the ones with b’stard baby dads, what about those same sex couples? What do you think is ‘fun’ about assuming that ‘Mummy is boss’, printing marital politics on the back of a baby’s t shirt??
Oh, and I’ve been spying... I mean REVIEWING, with the awesome Babyping monitor in recent weeks, don’t forget to read my review, coming soon!
Thanks for reading as always. Yours, snot monsters x