Susanne Remic is a primary school teacher, freelance writer and parenting blogger. She writes at Ghostwritermummy and Maternity Matters and in between all of that she regularly wins mummy of the year awards for running around after her two children, aged six and 19 months. This is her pregnancy blog: an online diary of her third pregnancy as she strives to overcome two difficult births, one angel child and one awkward toddler. Join Susanne as she shares every step of her journey from bump to baby!
Bump envy
By Susanne Remic on 12 Sep 2011
Don’t tell me I am the only pregnant woman suffering from this condition, because I won’t believe you. Bump envy must be a common complaint amongst those of us with misshapen bumps. Not all pregnant women have perfect little basket-balls stuffed under their jumpers, do they? DO they?!
I first noticed my unusually shaped bump when I was expecting my daughter, my first child. It was more a collection of actual body parts inside my stomach than the rounded bump I had been expecting. From the side it looked even odder, but only to me apparently. My second bump was a lot neater and a lot more pleasing to the (my) eye.
This time around though, things have gone a little wonky once more. At 16 weeks, my bump is in two parts, if you like. It has a top part and a bottom part. And the bottom part is punctuated with two c-section scars. Once again, this is not the bump I had been hoping for and once again it is leading to bump envy!
Bump envy begins, for me, with clothes. Where did she find that top that makes her bump look so neat? Ooh, what a lovely dress. That really suits her shape. Why is her shape so much nicer than mine? Isn’t her bump lovely and round? Hang on, why doesn’t my bump look like that? Come to think of it, why are there other bumps about my person? How come when she turns around you can’t tell she is pregnant from the back? Why can’t I be ‘all bump’ too?
Please tell me some of this sounds familiar. When you’re pregnant, not only are you forced to relinquish all control over your changing body shape, but you also become public property. All of a sudden, those extra pounds of essential baby insulation are literally up for grabs to the nearest wagging tongues and that extra size or two up that you conceded to long ago has not gone un-noticed. Your whole body is scrutinised (or so it seems) and not just your bump. It’s making me rather self conscious and has taken my bump envy to a whole new level.
But hang on a minute. Aren’t we all supposed to be different anyway? Maternity wards would look a little strange if they were filled with perfect bumps and pert boobs all the time, wouldn’t they? Most men say that they find their partner’s pregnant body adorable and most women would happily admit to missing their bump once it’s gone.
Ok, so I have no control over the changes that are happening but they are happening for such a fantastic reason that I should be over this already. My belly is, as one friend so eloquently put it when describing her own body hang-ups, made perfect with its battle scars. Permanent reminders that this body did some real work; this body brought new life to the world. So the bump wasn’t round and the hips were a little squishy. It’s still perfect, right? RIGHT?!
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