Caring for a Multiple Sclerosis sufferer

The role of a carer can be tiring and stressful. We talk to one woman who describes how her family and support network really came up trumps when helping her care for her mum

Laura Gilby has lived with Multiple Sclerosis her whole life. Her mother Linda was diagnosed shortly after Laura's birth and by the time she was 19, she became one of her mothers principle carers. Sadly, Linda lost her battle against MS in June 2006, but Laura is determined to continue raising awareness and fundraising for the disease.

What kind of support did you get during your mum's illness?

'My main contact was with social services, who I would call if mum needed to see an occupational therapist, nutritionist or speech and language therapist.

'We have had a live-in carer for the last seven years, as well as a morning, lunchtime and evening carer.I think because mum was ill for a long time her needs were quite well understood and I had various contacts that could help.'

Was it difficult for you to have a social life?

'Not really. I have a brilliant group of friends. If I went on holiday they would pop over and watch a DVD with mum or just come over to see her. When I went away I would plan a few months in advance; arranging a carer who I could trust 110 per cent to come round and look after her.

'I always thought of her when I was away so it was hard to relax. When I was in Poland in April she was taken into hospital as I was on my way home which was awful - I felt so guilty.

'My boyfriend is very understanding and has always said that he goes out with me because of me and didn't worry that my mum was terminally ill. People often say - especially work colleagues - that I give the impression of being really happy so they were shocked when I told them about mum. I guess in 26 years I learnt how to put on a very brave face!'

What were people's reactions when you told them your mum had MS? Did they even know what it was?

'No, they weren't shocked. They'd heard of MS although they may not have known exactly what it was or the severity of the condition i.e. mum being bed-bound since 1999 and having problems such as loss of speech.'