Confessions of a second-time mum

Going from one child to two is double the trouble but is also fun and rewarding. Chloe Campbell talks about her experiences

When I discovered I was pregnant with my second baby, I was confident that it would be easier than the first time around. I was a total novice when I had my first baby. I had never changed a nappy, let alone had to cope with the sleepless nights and constant anxiety. And to an extent I was right; I was much less worried and uptight about my second baby's welfare and about what I should be doing.

What I didn't imagine was how daunted I would be by trying to look after a demanding newborn and single-minded toddler at the same time. How would I keep my two-year-old happy and occupied while breastfeeding a little baby? Would I ever be able to get them both out of the house on my own?

As one friend told me: 'Having one child is like owning a pet dog, having two is like running a zoo.' But I soon learnt that even I could cope, with a lot of help from CBeebies and a double buggy.

Pregnancy itself was a very different experience. I spent my first pregnancy lying on the sofa, being given foot massages and generally feeling pleased with myself. Second time round, I barely had a moment to commune with the bump, spending my time chasing after Rosa, my busy toddler. And Rosa certainly noticed my expanding belly and got quite attached to the bulge.

She did not hesitate to point out how fat I was becoming. We tried to explain that there was a baby inside, but were never convinced that she understood. After all, it does seem a pretty unlikely way to produce a baby.

'When's "baby bruvva" going home?'

Rosa was just two when my son Bruno was born and the poor girl was, for a while, very shaken by the loss of her privileged status as only child. She tried her best to be affectionate, understanding that was how we wanted her to behave, and she gave Bruno lots of quite fierce hugs. Rosa hated it when Bruno cried, and when he went through that colicky stage, she found it very upsetting, sometimes crying herself, and on a few occasions, flapping her arms at him in confusion and stress.

It was when Bruno was just a few weeks old that Rosa asked her dad when 'baby bruvva' would be going home. As far as Rosa was concerned, Bruno was a visitor who had outstayed his welcome. It just hadn't occurred to us to explain that this was a permanent arrangement. As a second-time mum, watching Rosa's confusion and upset about her younger brother made me feel painfully guilty. In those chaotic first few weeks, I felt a strong sense of loss for my relationship with Rosa.

She was spending more time with dad and other helpers so I could concentrate on the baby, and even while adoring Bruno, I couldn't help grieving for the old closeness with my first child. Many second-time mums have expressed the same feeling - that their baby blues after the birth of their second child centred primarily on protectiveness towards their first-born. This was a difficult period of re-adjustment, but it settled down quickly and it has been wonderful seeing Rosa's relationship with Bruno develop.