Daddy's girl

Does a woman's relationship with her father determine her choice in men? Kathy Watson discusses

It's inevitable. Dad is the first man in our life, the first man we learn to love or hate. He is the first man we know intimately. We see him close up and witness how he behaves towards women, particularly our mother. His moods, his tastes, his likes, his dislikes are all known to us in a way that is never repeated until we grow up and become involved with another man.

Although all relationships tend to shift and change over time, certain patterns remain and women's relationships with their fathers tend to fall into three basic types.

Adoring

I once knew a fitness trainer who specialised in exercise classes for pregnant women. Her father was an obstetrician, 'one of the top obstetricians in the country,' she always added. She thought he was wonderful. And her boyfriends? Losers every one of them. Debts, in and out of jobs, big ideas that never seemed to turn into actions, you name it, she'd dated it. Her father couldn't stand them, she used to say, rather gleefully. Of course he couldn't; that's why she picked them. It's fun being Daddy's little princess when you're young but later on the expectations created are something of a burden. The problem for Daddy's girl is not that she can't find a man like her father, it's that she doesn't want to or can't allow herself to. There's only room for one at the top. She put Daddy on a pedestal and doesn't know how to bring him back down to earth.