How to keep your weight in perspective

I'm now intolerant to yeast, wheat and sugar and suffer from frequent yeast infections and bloating. I didn't have periods for three years and I was warned they might never come back, leaving me infertile. Luckily, they did. I was told by a nutritionist that all of this is due to my unhealthy eating habits over the years.

I now have a much healthier attitude and eat little and often. I go to the gym four times a week, and even though I'm not as thin as I have been in the past, I think I look OK because I have more muscle definition and feel leaner. I like my muscles and the feeling of power that exercise gives me. I 'd be lying if I said that I didn't want this muscle tone and to be thinner (like Jennifer Aniston) but it's not going to happen, especially given my body shape and height. I am learning to accept that I am not a failure if I don't look like a movie star.

My boyfriend also felt I was too thin. Generally, I think men prefer a Myleene (from Hearsay) body type to a Calista Flockhart (aka Ally McBeal.) Unfortunately, women's opinions are usually different. I have never cared what a man thought of me though - I put the pressure on myself (and other women) to look waif-like. I can't help but like how it looks. I now weigh 7st 3lbs, and 90 per cent of the time I'm happy (I wore my bikini with pride for the first time this summer.) It's now rare for me to refuse to leave the house until I lose another five pounds. Although, it doesn't help that Geri Halliwell is my height and weighs only six stone.

I'm very angry about the years I have wasted worrying and hiding in my flat, crying and beating myself up because I am not perfect looking. I am forever trying to focus on being strong and healthy and keeping weight gain in perspective. I only weigh myself once a week now.
iVillager El