Diary of a dieter - week 5

My emotions have been all over the place these last seven days. At the beginning of the week, two positive things happened which made me really notice my 10lb weight loss. Firstly, I needed to wear a belt with my favourite jeans. Secondly, my collarbone reappeared. I feel fantastic.

But it's not just me who's noticed and that's where things started to go wrong this week. Flushed with success I met up with a friend I haven't seen for a long time. Let's call her Helen. She didn't know I'd been dieting, but she did notice I'd lost weight.

'You look great. What have you been doing?' she asked. And then, from nowhere, 'I'm pleased you're finally sorting yourself out. I felt so sorry for you when you put on all of that weight. You're much prettier when you're thinner, you know.'

Just writing it down brings back the humiliation and hurt I felt as she uttered those words. It makes me so angry. I wanted to scream at her: 'I'm still the same person, fat or thin, so why don't you keep your thoughtless judgements to yourself?'

Instead, at the time, I held it together until I got home and then had a long, hard cry. After battling with my weight for most of my adult life, I should be used to comments like this, but somehow I don't think I ever will be. They sting like hell.

I'm sure Helen's intentions were good. But somehow they got lost when she decided to turn what should have been a positive compliment into a negative personal observation. The thing is, just because I'm open and honest about losing weight it doesn't give people the green light to tell me exactly what they think of my body. Imagine if I'd said to her, 'I'm glad you've changed your hairstyle, it looked horrible.' It's the same thing, really.

I felt pretty miserable about it for most of the next day, but the good news is I didn't seek comfort in my old friend, Mr Cadbury. I realise this is a big turning point for me and is half the battle of long-term weight loss. I'm starting to feel much more positive again.

I know I am doing this for me and I'm very proud of myself. For the past five weeks I've stuck to the diet (apart from a couple of blips which are well documented here on iVillage) and I've been hitting the gym with alarming regularity.

Discovering that I've lost another pound this week is the best confidence-booster of all. Oh, and one more thing. Helen, if you're reading this, your hair does look much better these days.

Original start weight: 13st 7lbs
End week one weight: 13st 2½lbs
End week two weight: 13st 3½lbs
End week three weight: 12st 11½lb
End week four weight: 12st 11lb
End week five weight: 12st 10lb