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Dr Pam's love clinic - Dr. Pam Spurr

Each week, award-winning radio presenter, agony aunt, sex and relationship advisor, and life coach Dr Pam Spurr will be advising iVillagers on real-life love and sex issues. Check back every week to read her latest words of wisdom

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Recent blog posts

May 08

I'm making excuses to avoid sex with my boyfriend

Woman avoiding boyfriend in bed
Question: Dear Dr. Pam, I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years and we have a good, strong relationship. He’s a great guy and I really love him. The problem is - for quite a few months now I haven’t really felt turned on by him. I find myself making excuses to avoid sex and...
1 comment
May 01

My husband wants a vasectomy and I'm fuming

Man with hands down his boxer shorts
Question: Dear Dr Pam, I’m absolutely fuming with my husband and need some advice! We’ve got two young boys who I adore, but he has always been pretty vocal about the fact that he didn’t want kids. He does love them but he doesn’t want any more – it’s caused a...
1 comment
Apr 25

My man's feminine side is starting to make me uncomfortable

Man wearing smeared make-up
Question: Dear Dr. Pam, I’ve been with my boyfriend for just over a year, I’m 29 years old and we are quite happy together. But for a while there’s been something troubling me and I don’t know what to do about it. It started when he’d make little comments about wearing...
1 comment
Apr 17

Is he trying to give me a hint by pulling away?

Young redheaded woman looking at her mobile phone
Question: Dear Dr. Pam, A couple of months ago I met a guy through friends and we began texting - the texts had been pretty regular and fun. A couple of weekends ago he came over to my place and we slept together. He didn’t text me until three days later and the texts were less regular after...
1 comment
Apr 10

Should I give in to my flirty colleague?

'Text Me' written in office stationery
Question: Dear Dr. Pam, A couple of years ago I was involved in an office romance that ended badly... I mean really badly. I don't want to be recognised but he lost his job when it ended because it was so messy and that's all I'll say. So, being a sensible girl, I swore I'd never to...
3 comments
Apr 03

We had alfresco sex and now I want more

Couple in the bushes
Question: Dear Dr. Pam, I've been with my husband for seven years and things are really pretty good. We get on well and he's a great dad to our little girl. I've never really thought about our sex life because things tick over. But what with the good weather and all we had sex outdoors...
No comments
Mar 29

I keep having sexy dreams about a colleague!

Woman lying on bed in underwear
Question: Dear Dr. Pam, Thank goodness this is anonymous because I'm freaked out by a recurring dream I've been having for the last couple of months. I work in a large company across several departments and report to a few different managers. One of them I get along really well with and...
No comments
Mar 21

I feel trapped by other people's relationships

woman surrounded by couples looking bored
Question: Dear Dr. Pam, I’m 28 and single. I’ve been single for almost a year and I’m ok with it. The problem is, most of my good friends are in relationships and so when I go out it’s usually with a bunch of couples. I love all my friends dearly and it’s great to...
1 comment
Mar 13

I like being 'friends with benefits' but I think he wants more

Man and woman in underwear embracing on a bed
Question: Hi Pam, I know this guy - we’ve been good friends for a couple of years  - we’ve got a similar sense of humour and have really decent chats. It’s always been plutonic, with the odd flirt here and there, as we’ve never been single at the same time - until a few...
2 comments
Mar 06

I can't stop Facebook-stalking my ex!

Woman outdoors using laptop
Question: Dear Dr. Pam, I broke up with my boyfriend about four months back and even though I don’t necessarily want to get back with him I can’t seem to get him out of my head! We were together for almost a year and broke up after loads of silly arguments - it just wasn’t working...
2 comments