Guide to young teenage birthday bashes

Once you've done the prep work for this year's birthday bash, your fun ends. I'm going to break it to you slowly: your teen doesn't want you there - you're embarrassing, go away!

Even though you may not be on the guest list for the big bash, it's important that you keep an eye on all party activities. But these great ideas will help you assure a safe and fun event for all party guests

Themes

When it comes to teens, no theme is the best theme. Teens like to do their own thing, preferably with little parental interference. Although your teenager might prefer to see less of you at the actual party, you can use party planning as a way to share in the festive occasion. You can plan, clean and cook for the party, but that's where your part ends.

Your teenager might not want to see you at the party, but you have a responsibility to supervise the group. This includes establishing strict rules ahead of time, which must be adhered to by your teenager and guests. Here are some tips for planning a great birthday party and assuring its success by monitoring it in a low-key fashion.

Invitations

Teenagers may be perfectly content calling friends on the phone and inviting them to the party. They may even view invitations as childish. However, invitations can be helpful for one important reason: they discourage uninvited guests and prevent gatecrashers.

Make sure that your teenager understands that without an invitation, people will be turned away at the door. Print on the invitation, 'You must have an invitation to attend' and word will travel fast.

Invitations needn't be childish. You can hire someone to write the invitations or address the envelopes in calligraphy. Remember, an invitation sets the tone for the party. Keep it adult and you will attract adult behaviour.

Activities and games

Most teenagers prefer not to have games at their party. Talking, eating and listening to music are this age group's favourite activities. Sit down with your daughter or son and select party CDs. You could also provide board games that teens can turn to if they need to break the ice with new guests.

You may also want to set ground rules for activities. For example, insist that lights remain on during the party, and note that certain locations in the house are out of bounds.

Greet guests at the door to remind them that supervision is nearby. This may help discourage unwanted activities. Prepare your teenager for the fact that anyone who breaks the rules will be asked to leave immediately. And if you suspect that a guest has been drinking or using drugs before the party, you should not admit him or her.