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When your man has an eating disorder
continued from page 2
What you can do
Get him professional help: however much you love your man, you can't solve his problem for him. Seeing his GP is crucial for appropriate medical referrals, but remember that GPs often don't understand the severity of eating disorders in men and it may help if you go with him for moral support. Get him in touch with a professional organization such as The Eating Disorders Association. (tel: 01603 621 414) for information about self-help groups and therapy.
Get information: the more you know about eating disorders, the better placed you are to help. The Eating Disorder Association has a number of helpful leaflets. You can also read Making Weight - Healing Men's Conflict with Food, Weight and Shape by Leigh Cohn and Tom Holbrook (Gurze Books, £10.99).
Be there for him: the most crucial step in a man's recovery is for him to acknowledge his problems. If your man seems worried about what is happening to him, be willing to listen and encourage him to share his concerns with you.
Mention the issue: if he doesn't seem worried, then you may want to raise the issue yourself. Choose a time when you know you won't be interrupted - or write a letter and leave it for him to read. Don't criticise or judge and don't panic if he gets angry or won't listen. Simply show you are there to help.
Support, don't undermine: it won't help to try to force your man to eat, to hide any junk food or laxatives, ask him to justify his behaviour or nag him about it. He'll just feel bullied, turn against you and become more secretive about his behaviour instead of confiding in you.
Believe in your man
The more severe his eating disorder, the longer the recovery period. If he is extremely underweight, he may have to be hospitalised in order to regain weight. If he is very overweight, he may have to restrict his food intake.
No matter what the severity of the symptoms of his disorder, he'll need to stop treating food as the enemy or as something he turns to for comfort. The main concern is that he starts to feel better about himself and works at resolving the underlying emotional issues that are making him starve or binge.
You can help by simply believing in him. You don't need to pander to his every whim, but you do need to be encouraging, supportive and allow him to talk openly about his feelings.
What you can do
Believe in your man
The more severe his eating disorder, the longer the recovery period. If he is extremely underweight, he may have to be hospitalised in order to regain weight. If he is very overweight, he may have to restrict his food intake.
No matter what the severity of the symptoms of his disorder, he'll need to stop treating food as the enemy or as something he turns to for comfort. The main concern is that he starts to feel better about himself and works at resolving the underlying emotional issues that are making him starve or binge.
You can help by simply believing in him. You don't need to pander to his every whim, but you do need to be encouraging, supportive and allow him to talk openly about his feelings.
Share advice & support with sufferers and families of sufferers on the Overcoming Eating Disorders messageboard.
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