Gossip can harm your soul

It's human nature to wonder what's going on in other people's lives. We speculate and surmise about them, wonder about their personal life and work success or failure, and so on. We then discuss our thoughts about them, and the titbits of knowledge we might have about their lives, with other people. Gossip is in essence discussing someone else's business when they aren't present.

Harmless gossip
Gossip has many functions for the people doing it. There are both harmless and harmful types of gossip. One of the primary functions is social inclusion and bonding that's essentially harmless. This type of gossip is less about the person being gossiped about and more about the people gossiping. They use gossip to bond together into a mini-social group. This type of gossip is about mutual sharing of information and is a form of relating to others. By gossiping with them you show a certain level of trust and the development of a social connection.

The gossip tends to take the form of little bits of information being shared, for example: 'Did you know Sarah's dyed her hair red?' The information's usually something that might become common knowledge or is something that the person wouldn't object to becoming 'public'.

Harmful gossip
However gossip spreads faster than wildfire and can cross over into harmful territory even when not intended that way. And it can be of the intentionally malicious type. This form of gossip is meant to harm the person who's being gossiped about. The harm intended can be at a personal level or about their work and reputation.

Malicious gossip excludes the person being gossiped about from the group in a negative way. It becomes a form of bullying. The person becomes an outsider. Some people get a source of malicious satisfaction from this type of gossip if they have a manipulative-type personality. Others use unpleasant or nasty gossip to enhance their own social value and make them seem like the dominant member of a group - one that's 'in the know'.

The harm done by gossip
Apart from celebrities who want to be talked about, there's a lot of harm that can be done by gossip. Even when no harm's intended, the problem with gossip is what starts as 'harmless' can sometimes develop into the harmful type. Like 'Chinese whispers' the gossip can alter in form as it moves outward from the initial gossips. By the time it's moved to another group of people it might've morphed into something negative and hurtful.

Also it may simply be private information the person wants to keep secret. Let's go back to 'Sarah' with the newly-dyed red hair. Discussing her hair colour is one thing but saying, 'Did you know Sarah's boyfriend cheated on her?' is another. It discloses something that 'Sarah' probably wants to keep private.

Gossip is also harmful because untruths and half-truths are told as if true. It doesn't give the person a choice about whether or not they want to be discussed, it can spin out of control, and can create an atmosphere of cliques particularly in the office, and this facilitates bullying.