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I need more in my life than my kids

First, I want to acknowledge you for doing what sounds like a great job raising your children. No small feat. You didn't have to make the choice to devote yourself to them. You could have done it differently, but you didn't - and for that, I applaud you.

Over the course of your own personal growth, you will want to dig in to what happened in your childhood, find out how it affects you and the way you operate in life, and yes, counselling will help you do that. In the interim, let's see what steps you want to take to move out of where you are.

Step One: is acknowledging what's going on. You've taken that step by posting your question. That may have taken courage to do. What you're feeling is very common among young mothers with young children.

Step Two: I want you to make quiet time for yourself to sit silently. Close your eyes, drift into the heart of who you are. In this quiet place, bring up an image of yourself, the way you are feeling now. Imagine that she is talking to you. Hear what she wants to say. This may be emotional, and that's fine. When she finishes speaking, imagine holding her. Tell her that you love her, and that you're going to work to create a life for her that is the way she wants it to be. Then, let the image of her fade and think about forgiving yourself. Don't come down on yourself for not doing anything that has kept you from living fully, true to who you are. It's not too late and everyone makes mistakes. That's how we learn. Let forgiveness wash over you and saturate your every cell. When you feel ready, open your eyes, sit quietly for a few more minutes and write down anything that is significant to you (in a private journal).

Step Three: List one activity you'd like to do this week, alone or with a friend or group. Maybe it's bowling. If so, reserve time at the bowling alley. Maybe it's a movie. If so, find the one you want to see and buy tickets ahead of time. Call this your courage goal for the week. You only need one small thing to start breaking the ice around you - just one.

For next week, before you get out of bed, imagine yourself with friends, fulfilled and happy. Say, 'I deserve this.' Breathe it in, then get out of bed.

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