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  |  Healthy Living  |  Stress Management  |  Boiling point
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Boiling point

by Christine Aziz
continued from page 2
Anger management and women

Anger takes many forms and can be passive-aggressive, violent, simmering, or sulky. Whatever guise it takes, it:

  • consumes huge amounts of mental and physical energy
  • takes from enjoyment in life
  • interferes with constructive thinking
  • threatens relationships and career prospects
  • undermines self esteem
  • can lead to a number of physical illnesses, particularly of the liver and heart, and if suppressed over a long period can lead to depression.
  • can kill - if obsessive, uncontrolled and violent

    As many women as men are attending the anger management programmes provided by the British Anger Management Association (BAMA). 'Women are much quicker at dealing with their anger and will come for a workshop after a few outbursts, but men will take a long time before they decide to change,' says BAMA chairman, Mike Fisher. 'Most of the women we work with are more passive-aggressive than men. For instance, women tend to talk about partners behind their backs, saying things they know their partner won't like. They complain that their partners won't do things they've promised to do or cancelled arrangements at short notice.

    BAMA'S top six anger tips
    1. When anger starts, take a step back - stop, think, look at the bigger picture.
    2. Other people have a different reality - opinions are not facts and people are entitled to a different view of the world or a situation that is not shared by you.
    3. Listen to what is being said. Observe, verify, clarify and empathise.
    4. Have safety and support networks.
    5. Keep a journal and write everything down so anger is not internalised. After a while read it back and see if you are accurate in your view of the situation, or if you have been projecting your distress on others.
    6. Don't take anything personally that has been said in anger



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