How to stop smoking once and for all

These five keys to long-term success are all you need to quit for good, says Gillian Riley

You may know how to stop smoking. The real challenge, of course, is stopping yourself from starting again. If you've tried and failed many times in the past, you might think it's because you don't want to stop badly enough. This could be the case, but isn't necessarily the reason. I have been counselling smokers for almost 20 years now, and I often talk to people who've been trying to quit for a very long time. It's obvious they do want to stop because they've put so much effort into it. Although these people have strong motivation, they often don't have the crucial information necessary to put their good intentions into practise. They've got the will, but they haven't yet found the way.

Quitting smoking isn't just a matter of willpower. You may have the motivation but unless you have some knowledge of how, you won't be able to get the job done. So what do smokers need to know in order to stop smoking for life? These five tips are simple in principle, but they really work if you want to quit for good.

1. Think positive. The biggest mistake most quitters make is regarding quitting as deprivation, so don't fall into this negative state of mind. If you feel deprived you're going to feel victimised in some way. And if you fall into this way of thinking, you'll feel irritable and take out your frustration on others, especially anyone who pressures you into stopping. Or, you'll start feeling sorry for yourself, get depressed and lose your motivation to quit. Instead, take complete responsibility for your actions. Remind yourself that you are free to make the choice to stop and stay stopped and only you can make this decision.

2. Embrace temptation. Long-term success is achieved by learning how to cope with temptation. The urge to smoke comes from habit and you'll continue to want to smoke in situations when you smoked in the past. Sometimes you'll be able to predict when this will be, after a good meal or when you're in the pub, for example. Other times, when you feel upset or stressed, your craving will catch you by surprise. Be prepared for this and accept that you'll have to deal with this urge. Consider it a trade-off: a few moments of temptation in return for a healthier life. These moments of desire fade in time, just like any other memory, but the less you fear your desire to smoke and the more you are willing to face it then overcome it, the more likely you will resist it long-term.

3. Be quiet about your intention to quit. Be careful who you tell about your plans to stop smoking. It may be best to tell no one at all. If you tell people, you invite them to get involved, so first think about whether or not you really want their input. 'Help' can often be counterproductive, and even a friendly, 'How are you doing?' or a 'Well done' may be annoying or make you feel pressure to stay smoke-free forever. It's fine for others to have their views about whether or not you should smoke, but it may be easier to avoid the pressure you'll get from them if they know you're trying to stop.

4. Quit for yourself. Be clear about why you want to quit and make a deliberate effort to remember why life is better when you don't smoke. If you try to quit for the sake of others - your children, partner or friends - then you will most likely fail, because it becomes an act of self-sacrifice. Write a note to yourself to read in a few months to remind yourself why you wanted to stop smoking. Notice that the unpleasant smell of cigarettes is gone from your clothing and your home, be delighted about how much money you're saving each month.

5. Acknowledge the true costs of smoking. Accept that tobacco isn't just smelly or costly. It's a drug addiction, which kills or disables at least 50% of users. Most of us live in denial that smoking is dangerous because its effects aren't instant. Remember you are free to return to smoking, but if you do you could fall back into your old habits. Few former smokers can get away with smoking the odd cigarette here and there without returning to smoking daily. You can learn how to live happily without cigarettes, but you'll need vigilance to avoid relapse, even after many months. Speak to your doctor about using pharmaceutical aids such as Nicotine Replacement Therapy in the form of patches and gum or inhaler.

Good luck.

Gillian Riley is a writer, counsellor and seminar leader who uses cognitive techniques based on her experience of working with smokers and overeaters. A former smoker herself, she has been teaching this technique since 1982. Her book, How to Stop Smoking and Stay Stopped for Good is published by Random House (Vermilion) and available in book shops.