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Living to tell the tale

continued from page 3
I've got false boobs, lots of scars and not much of a sex drive, which is common for many women who've had a mastectomy. Although many get it back, again, everyone's experience is different. I didn't because of the treatment that was done on my ovaries - my doctor told me that basically I've got the ovaries of an 80 year-old woman. I've gradually come to terms with that, and so has Alan. There are so many other things we value about each other. We have so many plans - in fact we have a great life.

The luxury of a future may have been taken away from me, but I still have today and my husband, and I can't afford to be negative because it wastes too much energy. When I speak to my friends, and they're moaning about trivial things I think, 'You just don't get it do you?' Now, there's not one day that goes by when I don't say, 'Thank you, thank you, thank you, whoever you are for letting me be alive.'

Resources:

    · CancerBACUP www.cancerbacup.org.uk is a registered charity providing information about all aspects of cancer as well as emotional support for cancer patients and their families. Helpline number: 020 7613 2121 or Freephone 0808 800 1234

    · Bristol Cancer Help Centre: I found them tremendously helpful and supportive, particularly in recommending complementary treatments. www.bristolcancerhelp.org 0117 9809 500

Help and advice:

    · The majority of people diagnosed with breast cancer today do not have mastectomies.

    · If you lose your sex drive following an operation for cancer, talk through your feelings with your lover or husband. 'Most people find their lovers are much less concerned by their scars than they imagine,' says Dr Andrew Standway, a psychosexual and marital physician who works for CancerBACUP.

    · Some women find that having sex with their bra on after a mastectomy helps them feel sexier.

    · I've been through every emotion during my cancer - rage, sorrow, joy, hope - but the experience of having this disease has helped us strengthen our relationship. Many people, according to Dr Standway, agree with Lynn and explain that they become more honest, stop putting things off and become more realistic about life.

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