An iVillager describes the realities of cancer treatment

iVillager Jane Inman describes how cancer treatment can work on even the most positive of people

• A granddaughter's discovery
• 'Is Clare with you?'
• Trying to laugh
• An unwelcome surprise
• New developments

A granddaughter's discovery
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in July 1002 and life has been a roller coaster ever since - one minute up and the next down.

I have a history of benign breast lumps and therefore was quite sure that the lump I could feel now was not going to be anything different.

My three-year-old granddaughter had been sitting on my lap and as she got off she dug her elbow in my right breast. I exclaimed that it hurt and gave it a rub - that's when I felt 'the lump'! Quick phone call to my local surgery and amazingly got an appointment straight away, a Friday afternoon. They said they didn't think it was anything sinister but they would just fax the local breast cancer unit to get in touch with me, probably on Monday.

From Monday it was all systems go - a mammogram arranged for Thursday, results clinic, the following Wednesday, then the suggestion of a needle biopsy of the right breast after an ultrasound was done. They also discovered something suspicious in the left breast also, so they did a biopsy of that too.

'Is Clare with you?'
A week later, I was still breezing along quite happily as I had had a biopsy 5 years earlier and that had been nothing sinister. I took along my daughter, who is a theatre staff nurse and who knew the surgeon I was seeing, for the results. I told her I didn't need her to come in to see the consultant with me, but his first words were, 'Is Clare with you?' I should have realised then that he was not going to give me good news.

I was diagnosed with tumours in both breasts that appeared to have spread. He told me that I needed a bilateral mastectomy. What happened to the bright and breezy woman then? Gobsmacked!

Surgery was arranged for the following week. After the mastectomy I was told that there had been two tumours in the right breast - one Grade 2 and one Grade 3 that had spread to the lymph nodes. The left breast had a Grade 2 tumour that had also spread.

Next step: to Oncology to be told I would have six months' of chemo. Everything now was a blur - in July I had gone to my GP with a lump and here I was in September with no boobs and just about to lose all my hair - not just on my head, but everywhere. I had six months of being sick to look forward to.