Sex: a risky business

The art of persuasion
So what happens when things are going well, but he turns his nose up at the idea of using a condom? The most common excuse is the lack of sensitivity, but what do you come back with?

Petra says: 'A lot of guys probably haven't tried condoms in years and they've changed. There are now a lot of light condoms which are very easy to wear and you can put a touch of lubricant* in the tip to increase the sensitivity.

'If it's still not working, tell him you like to look after your health and he should respect this. If he still refuses you're looking at someone who doesn't value you. Talking about contraception is difficult, but if it helps, tell yourself it's a test of your self-esteem and self-worth as well as a seeing how much he values and respects you.'

So in an ideal world you'd carry condoms with you in your handbag 'just in case' and use them with a partner until you both went to be tested, but not enough of us do this either. People take umbrage at the suggestion of STI checks. A trip to hospital is not terribly romantic, but it does make sense. If you're planning to spend a lot of time with this person it pays to consider the facts.

STIs are on the increase and, according to the Health Protection Agency figures, one in nine sexually active young people have Chlamydia, which has been linked to female and male infertility.

So if you're in a relationship and want to suggest ditching the condoms, Petra advises treading carefully. 'Try telling him that you just can't be too careful and how you want to get tested and discuss your contraception choices, so would he come with you to your GP.'

She also warns to be prepared that his first reaction may not be all positive. 'The shock of someone being that up front about sex, STIs and contraception can make them feel uncomfortable, so they may take a little while to come round to the idea. But if they don't, they're not thinking about you so do you really want to be with them?'

*lubricant - make sure you use water not oil-based because it can rot the rubber or latex of the condom.