How to be a cool colleague-UK

Sarah Ivens

Sarah Ivens, author of A Modern Girl's Guide to Networking, published by Piatkus explains how to get along with the other people in your office

You probably spend more time with your colleagues than your loved ones. It sucks, right? Well make your life a little easier by not being the office bore/bitch/jerk or loser by working on your office etiquette. There's no point networking brilliantly with external clients if your internal colleagues hate you!

Don't steal other people's things. Yes, we all like to borrow a stapler or mug every now and again, but return it. Nothing is more infuriating however minor it seems. Treat the workplace as you would your home. Don't leave a mess in communal areas. Keep the kitchen and the bathrooms fragrant and hygienic. Don't shout, scream, attack or physically assault colleagues - however annoying they are. Believe me, I've wanted to put someone's head through a wall before but I took the upper ground. He looked like a pathetic little bully, I looked down my nose at him without screaming at him to stop lying. It worked; I got the upper hand by acting intelligently. Dignity, always dignity. However useful and wonderful the telephone and email systems are at your place, get off your arse and talk face to face occasionally. It makes for better rapports - and will stop your eyes going funny from staring at a computer screen all day long. Be trustworthy. If you are told a secret once and you share it, don't ever expect to be trusted again. Don't expect your colleagues to carry your workload. The working week ends on Friday afternoon - not Thursday lunchtime. Always contribute to the pub whip round or someone's leaving collection. You have to be very mean to resent chucking in a few pounds. Remember, if you're gossiping and backstabbing someone, that person will assume you are doing it about them, too. No one likes nastiness - unless they're nasty themselves. Bitch to a friend over a beer after work. In the office, be kind, considerate and keep your nose clean. Don't be a total arse-licker, your co-workers will find you fake and irritating. Acknowledge other people's successes with good grace and good humour.

Secrets of Success Work is important, but don't let it take over your life. If you spend all day in the office, then all night networking with contacts. You might suddenly wake up at 60 and think, 'Bugger!' Keep your CV updated and saved at home in case you have to leave your office suddenly and never go back Avoid smiling gormlessly or gazing off into the distance in job interviews or meetings. It's very unbecoming for a modern girl If you haven't heard anything two weeks after a job interview, send a polite follow-up email or letter asking if a decision has been made Don't panic about starting at the bottom of the ladder. If you're someone's assistant, don't get bitter - get ahead! Everyone has to start somewhere. And conversely, never be rude to an assistant - they could be your boss one day You can't love all the people all the time. Avoid the people who make your skin crawl. You don't need to be friends with them, just be civil. Anything to avoid a public brawl - which even if it's their fault, will reflect badly on both of you! Treat your team well but don't let them take the piss Don't get drunk and spill the beans at your leaving do. You never know who you will be working with - or for - again. And if times change, you may even want to go back to the same company. So wave goodbye with a smile and no slagging off. Fate has a funny way of bringing people together again