Dr Pam's love clinic

Each week, award-winning radio presenter, agony aunt, sex and relationship advisor, and life coach Dr Pam Spurr will be advising iVillagers on real-life love and sex issues. Check back every week to read her latest words of wisdom

How can I tame my bikini line?

By Dr. Pam Spurr on 12 Feb 2013 No comments

Question: Hi Dr Pam,

I’m 28 and consider myself to be an attractive young woman. But I have one problem that stops me from being confident when undressing or in a bikini. I have quite a bit of hair around my bikini line.

Whatever I try my bikini line comes out in a rash. I have tried all sorts of different methods like shaving creams, electric shavers, waxing, etc. Having just broken up with a long-term boyfriend who got used to me not trimming my bikini line, I’m now worried about this. Especially as there is a guy who's asked me out that I'm really attracted to so it may not be long before we're in bed together. I can't stand going through the nerves and feeling inhibited about this again. I'm already anxious about it. Are there any other solutions? I've heard of laser treatment but that's supposed to be very expensive.

Dear 'Bikini line blues',

Join the crowd - half the female population has this worry and have bought into this anti-pubic hair message. And many women who have these worries themselves don't have what the average guy might consider 'too much hair' anyway.

The problem is we have faced a flood of features over the last decade about women getting rid of their pubic hair and also if you've ever seen any porn you'll know most porn stars are hair-free zones. We've all come to think even a little pubic hair is somehow wrong. It's not!

Also, I have good news for you and women generally - and that is 'the bush is back!' Yep, many men and women are fed up with so-called shaven-havens. Instead they are opting for the natural look or at least slightly more natural look.

For a slightly more natural look all you have to do is trim to keep things neat and tidy. Let's face it, it also makes oral sex easier if he can hit the spots that really turn you on!

If you want to consider laser hair removal the price has been coming down over the last couple years and by far the majority of salons offer a free consultation. Many even offer a free one-off treatment so you can see what it's like.

Or you could get a quote from a salon for simply having the straggly hairs of your inner thighs permanently removed. This might be a solution that works for you. If you did this then you can keep the rest tidy by occasional trimming (very carefully mind you).

Also there are now new depilatory 'sensitive' creams and gels out there to try as you're not the only woman that's been irritated by some of the formulations.

Definitely stop fretting and have a little trim before you do anything else. Start giving yourself the message that you look beautiful everywhere and that a new guy is probably going to be so turned on getting in bed with you this is not going to be something he even thinks of.

Whether it's this guy who's asked you out, or someone else, when you decide you're ready to go to bed with someone just keep focused on the fact you're offering your personality first - after all that's what's attracted them - and you can let your personality shine from the bed too. Enthusiasm and confidence is far sexier than being completely shaved.

Also don't forget men's tastes vary and you may end up with a guy who likes pubic hair.

Final tip: keep focused on you as a whole person and fight anxious thoughts about your pubic hair - honestly, when you're having a good time in bed with the next man you choose to have sex with, this doesn't have to feature in your thoughts.

Enjoy, Dr Pam x

Need some sex or relationship advice? Email your question to Dr Pam at pam.spurr@nbcuni.com