How to... Make small talk

Small talk can be a big challenge, but preparation and confidence are all you really

need

From How To Do Just About Everything in the Office, in association with eHow (Collins,

£9.99)

Steps

Practise. Converse with everyone you encounter: cashiers, waiters, people you're in a

queue with, neighbours, co-workers and kids. Chat with people unlike yourself, from the

elderly to teenagers to tourists

Read everything: cookbooks, newspapers, magazines, reviews, product inserts, maps,

signs and catalogues. Everything is a source of information that can be turned into

interesting conversations

Force yourself to get into small-talk situations, such as doctors' waiting rooms,

cocktail parties and meetings at the office. Accept invitations or host your own

gathering

Immerse yourself in culture, both high and low. Television, music, sports, fashion,

art and poetry are great sources of chat. If you can't stand Shakespeare, your dislike of

the bard is also a good topic for discussion

Keep a diary. Write down funny stories you hear, beautiful things you see, quotes,

observations, shopping lists and phone calls you made. That story about the time when the

operator at the call centre misunderstood you could become an opening line

Talk to yourself in the mirror. Make a random list of topics and see what you have to

say on the subjects. Tennis, Russia, butter, hip-hop, shoes - the more varied your list,

the better

Expand your horizons. Go home a new way. Try sushi. Play pinball. Go online. Paint a

watercolour. Bake a pie. Try something new every day

Be a better listener. Did your boss say that she suffers from migraines? Has your

doctor just had twins? These are opportunities for making small talk

Work on building up your confidence, overcoming shyness and banishing any feelings of

stage fright. Remember, the more you know, the more you know you can talk about

Tips

Be yourself. Confidence and uniqueness are superb substitutes for comedic genius.
Keep a few exit lines in mind. For example, 'Thanks for the wonderful conversation, but

now I have to give the impression I'm interested in everybody else'.

Warnings

Keep your fellow chatterers in mind; naughty stories and loose language will be frowned

upon in many circles. Similarly, your French quips and scientific discourses will be

wasted on some.

Why not chat to other iVillagers on the Life in the

Workplace message board.