How to reel him in without him knowing

It's not just Hollywood heartthrobs who can be hard to pin down. iVillage.co.uk Love and Sex Expert Dr Pam Spurr offers her seven seductive strategies to help make the man of your dreams fall head over heels for you, without him realising he's doing it!

If ever there was a man who'd be tough to reel in it's George Clooney. He's dated a string of desirable women, from Lisa Snowdon to Renee Zellweger and it's fair to say could snap his fingers and any woman would come running.

With that much choice it's hard to pin him down! So despite celebrating their one-year anniversary, his girlfriend, Elisabetta Cannalis, has her work cut out and it seems their relationship might've stalled at the 'plateau' stage.

But it's not just 'Gorgeous George' who is a tough nut to crack. Try these tactics if you've met The One but he hasn't quite realised it yet!

It's in your vocabulary

A key way to deepen his attraction to you is to use 'feel-good' words when you're chatting. The subconscious mind picks up on key descriptive words, responding positively to certain feel-good phrases.

For example, when you meet up, tell him, 'you're looking forward to a lovely evening.' As you eat dinner, mention your food tastes 'delicious'. Comment on the 'gorgeous' night sky as you set out for an after-dinner drink, and the 'amazing' vibe of the place you find, and then comment on the 'heavenly' taste of the cocktail you're sipping.

All these positive words will filter into his subconscious and he'll feel 'lovely' around you.

Create your comfort zone

You've mastered the art of using feel-good words - now go for a whole 'comfort zone' around you. Your comfort zone is the vibe you create that should make him feel comfortable, appreciated and that he can be himself. He'll love feeling those things.

To create this, leave daily stresses behind as you get to know him. Don't pitch up frazzled! Lots of little things create your comfort zone including looking for the fun side of things, laughing at his jokes (believe me, research shows men love this), flirting and letting your confidence shine through.

Men love confident women - it's self-fulfilling cycle: you're confident enough to create a lovely comfort zone, he then feels good and confident in your company and wants more of this vibe.

Maintain the mystery

You might think maintaining some mystery is something to be relegated to black-and-white films. You're wrong. When he rings on your 'pedicure and face pack night', don't give him the gory details that you're cutting your ragged toenails and have lashings of 'mud' on your face.

Men don't want to know you're plucking, tweezing and waxing. As you flirt with him on the phone he'd rather have an image of you looking hot.

Also definitely in the early days don't explain yourself. It's your business what you're doing when not seeing him. Retain a bit of mystery by saying your 'seeing friends' rather than going into the details of your plans.

Focus on him

When together, he should be the focus of your attention. If you're shy or nervous this makes things easier. Turn the spotlight on him and you stop thinking of your insecurities.

He'll think you're truly interested in him (which you should be if you want a relationship) and research shows when you believe someone's interested in you, you find them more attractive.

Switch off your mobile (yup, you can do it!) and make your dates about the two of you. Although it can be loads of fun clubbing with him, start your evening somewhere quieter as research shows that constant loud music can be distracting to a date.

Keep him wanting more

There's nothing that'll reel him in quicker than leaving him wanting more of you. If he thinks he can ring you and you'll rush to meet him in 20 minutes flat, you make things too easy. If you're free every time he suggests going out, he'll think you don't have a life.

So definitely keep a little distance. Don't be 'on tap' for him. Don't make it impossible for him but leaving him hoping you'll be free keeps him on his toes.

The food of love

Men love a woman with an appetite. It's a turn-off watching a woman pick like a bird at food. In their subconscious mind, men see a lust for food as a lust for sex.

Of course you don't want to guzzle burgers and chips (they're bad for your health) but you do want to order a proper meal and not act like it's the end of the world that you're going to eat a few calories!

Let go of your girly side occasionally

Yes, of course he fancies you because you're a girl and he's a guy - those differences are attractive! However, men often complain that sometimes the girly stuff gets a bit much. There are occasions where they'd love you even more if you unleash your 'inner tomboy'.

Be prepared to get your hands dirty when, say, there's decorating to be done. Or muck in with a smile on your face when he's got some gardening to do. You can slip into your LBD later that evening.

Check out Dr Pam's weekly Love and Sex blog www.drpam.co.uk