Dr Pam's love clinic

Each week, award-winning radio presenter, agony aunt, sex and relationship advisor, and life coach Dr Pam Spurr will be advising iVillagers on real-life love and sex issues. Check back every week to read her latest words of wisdom

I don't want to bore him when it comes to sex

By Dr. Pam Spurr on 22 Nov 2011 2 comments

Dear Dr. Pam,

I just started seeing this guy who I’ve fancied for a really long time. He is very attractive and I know that a lot of women have crushes on him. He is the type of guy who gets a lot of attention wherever he goes. So naturally he’s had plenty of experience and is very good in bed.

I’ve also had boyfriends and the occasional one-night-stand but I’m not as nearly as skillful and impressive as him between the sheets. So I am a bit worried that I might bore him when it comes to sex! What can I do in order to improve my sex skills and please him the way he pleases me?

Dear 'improve my sex skills',

To be honest I feel very uncomfortable I get e-mails like yours - where someone feels the only way to keep boyfriend (or a girlfriend) is to be super sexy in bed. A full relationship is so much more than being a sex vixen!

So I've made my point - here are a few key things to get you started having red hot fun in bed:

Ask, ask and ask again

In your sexiest, most confident voice, keep asking him what feels good as the action gets going. Occasionally as you change pressure in the way you touch, kiss or rub him, etc., ask what pressure, friction and speed feels best. It's always sexy to get what you want in bed. And when someone keeps asking what you want you're more likely to get it.

Tell, tell and tell again

Show him you enjoy your satisfaction too, so let him know when something feels particularly good, tell/ask him to do it again/more. Keep giving him feedback about what's feeling good, it makes him feel good about pleasing you.

Fantasy chat

No harm in introducing some racy fantasy chat. During foreplay/sex describe to him how you'd love to ‘take him’ somewhere risky or exciting. Give him loads of detail about something daring.

Position, position, position

Definitely don't get stuck in the same one or two tried and tested positions. Get a little experimental and ease him into a new position.

Final tip: Sort out a ‘pleasure chest’ for your bedside. Have everything in it, to hand, for easy bedtime fun. A blindfold, massage oils, lubricants, condoms, handcuffs, stockings, a pot of honey, etc. Everyone should have one and they certainly make spontaneous, fun sex a lot easier. Oh, and check out my sex guide below for loads of tips!

Have fun and look after yourself, Dr Pam x

For loads more advice, Dr Pam's latest sex-and-love guide is available on Amazon.

Also visit www.drpam.co.uk

Have you got a sex or relationship problem? Email Dr Pam at pam.spurr@nbcuni.com