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It's a Bean!
I hate to use this acronym, but OMG! I’m pregnant!
Many of you will think that I’m crazy for announcing this so soon (I’m just over seven weeks pregnant), but I just couldn’t wait to spread the word. After eight years and not a single pregnancy, it’s finally happened.
My last post was a final farewell to ttc. Little did I know, I was actually pregnant whilst writing that post. It was a total shock when I took the test. I was 23 days late, but thought that my weight gain may be the culprit. Lo and behold, two red lines appeared on 23rd March.
Even now, I’ve got no symptoms, aside from a blocked nose. There’s been no morning sickness; tender breasts; food cravings or aversions. I don’t feel any different either (my mum swears she just knew when she was pregnant).
By Monday 25th March I did have some pain – the pain I experienced before Christmas, when I went in for my op. I phoned my doctor and within an hour I was at the local hospital having a scan. At first, the very nice scan lady was quiet and, I have to be honest, I thought that I was maybe experiencing a phantom pregnancy. However, she soon turned the monitor round and showed us our Bean. No heartbeat could be detected, so she booked me in for another scan on Monday 8th April.
I am now a crazed pregnant lady. I spend my day work-dodging, looking at all things baby, and wondering how we’re going to find the money needed for all the bits and bobs required. I’ve joined numerous forums, in the hopes of finding one that suits me. That’s pretty hard, actually. I haven’t found anyone in my particular situation (pregnant and on bipolar medication).
3 weeks later
I went for my scan on 8th April and there was a heartbeat, albeit slow and irregular. We feared the worst. Another scan appointment was booked for Monday 15th April, but by then I knew I had miscarried.
On Sunday 14th April, I took a nasty tumble in the garden and ended up in A&E that evening. I had severe cramps and a temperature, too. After three hours of waiting, I went to the loo and just knew I had lost the baby. I told my husband, who grabbed a triage nurse, and I was rushed into a private cubicle. There was no doubt in my mind, but I was told to go for the re-scan the following morning.
On arrival, I told the sonographer what had happened, but they said they’d scan me anyway. Of course, the scan showed no sign of a pregnancy by then.
I was devastated when it happened, but I’m surprisingly fine now. From this whole experience, I’ve taken away the fact that I can actually conceive, without intervention. I’m looking to the future which, all of a sudden, seems bright.
My friends and family have been amazing, even some Facebook friends, whom I’ve never actually met. I’m just taking it day by day from now on.