Susanne Remic is a primary school teacher, freelance writer and parenting blogger. She writes at Ghostwritermummy and Maternity Matters and in between all of that she regularly wins mummy of the year awards for running around after her two children, aged six and 19 months. This is her pregnancy blog: an online diary of her third pregnancy as she strives to overcome two difficult births, one angel child and one awkward toddler. Join Susanne as she shares every step of her journey from bump to baby!
It's OK to have the baby blues
By Susanne Remic on 25 Jan 2012
This is to be my new mantra when the baby is born, but I may need you to remind me now and then. When my daughter was born, I was on a high from the very first moment I saw her face. I never really came down for weeks.
A friend’s husband, who had recently become a new father himself, once asked me if I had got over the baby blues yet and I remember feeling surprised- I hadn’t had the baby blues at all!
After my son was born, the baby blues seemed to drag on and on and on and on and ON. It got to the point where I no longer felt valid in bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. Yes, I know now that his birth was to blame as I was so traumatised by what had happened, but at the time I was really confused. I hadn’t felt this way when my daughter was born, so why was I feeling so down now?
At first I refused to admit it and when the health visitor came I denied that I had been feeling tearful. I blamed it all on being so exhausted and having two children to care for this time. I refused to accept that I was feeling low and I even felt ashamed, as if it proved I wasn’t coping.
Looking back, the baby blues certainly had me in their grip. It’s little wonder really, after a traumatic birth and an extremely demanding baby. I wish I could go back and give myself a hug. I wish I could tell myself that it’s ok to accept help; it’s ok to have the baby blues.
This time, I hope to be able to embrace whichever emotion is gripping me and make the most of the fabulous friends and family I have around me. I hope to be able to accept help when it is offered and I hope to feel able to cry if I need to. Having a baby plays havoc with your emotions and it doesn’t make you any less of a mother if you need some time out now and then.
The last two years since my son was born have taught me so much. The biggest lesson I’ve learnt is that having a baby is hard- and not just physically. Emotionally, new mums need to take care of themselves and that is a promise I am going to make to myself this time.
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