IVF - third time lucky?

By Liz, Womb For Improvement

This is Liz's third round of IVF and she has put everything into it - her own funds, time off work, hypnotherapy and plenty of wishful thinking. The success rate for IVF is around 20 to 30 per cent and many experts believe that it is unlikely to work if, by the third attempt, it has been unsuccessful. Two of Liz's original eight embryos were suitable for transfer and, two weeks after implantation, it is time to share the results of her pregnancy test...

I wasn’t supposed to test until 16 days after my two embryos were put back in my womb. That would be 21 days after I ovulated and the eggs were removed from my ovaries and fertilised. Normally I get my period 14 days after ovulation so waiting so long seemed nonsensical.

Eventually, and after much agonising, I decided to test a mere three days early - first thing on Friday morning. And by first thing, I mean 3:30am. Obviously I didn’t plan to test at that time in the morning but, keenly aware that the first wee of the day gives the most accurate result and waking at sparrow-fart o’clock with a full bladder, I decided I might as well test right then.

The stakes this round felt higher than ever, and not just because this one was paid for out of our own pockets. There is something that feels make or break about a third attempt at IVF. The National Institute of Clinical Excellence recommends three cycles of IVF should be provided on the NHS, but they very rarely are. However, I assume this advice is because they have calculated the optimum number of IVFs necessary to produce a positive result.

Sitting on the toilet, unwrapping the pregnancy test, my hands were shaking. I could hear my heartbeat. As soon as the test was nicely saturated with wee I put it on the counter and refused to look at it for the required three minutes.

I was petrified, but hopeful. I’d started to feel sick a couple of days previously, and whilst that could easily have been a side-effect of the pills I’d been taking, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was early morning sickness.

I’d put my all into this cycle:

Stopped drinking alcohol and caffeine
Taken unpaid leave from work to allow me to do everything I could to ensure success
Had hypnotherapy in the hope that it would engender some positivity (it did, the question is, would it be unfounded?)
Cuddled lots of babies to try to get my hormones racing.

The test result was unequivocal.

Negative.

The good thing about testing at such an ungodly hour in the morning is that you can cry yourself back to sleep before facing the day.

I am devastated, and I am really screwing up my clinic’s excellent success rates.

Since 2008 Liz has kept an online record of her quest to conceive on her blog Womb For Improvement. Read more from Liz at Womb4improvement.blogspot.com