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Bereavement

Bereavement is something that most people experience at some point in their lives. Each person’s reaction will be different and it is impossible to tell how someone will respond. When someone close to you dies, you are faced with both the practical things to do as well as having to come to terms with it emotionally. There are stages that seem to occur with most people.

Some common emotions

  • Immediate reaction is shocked disbelief, which may last for a few minutes, a few hours or a few days.
  • You may feel very detached during this period or completely confused.
  • You may be unable to accept your loss and deny that it has happened at all.
  • As despair and desolation set in you may feel uninterested in what goes on around you.
  • You may even feel that you are going mad.
Coping
  • A lot will happen in the weeks following. Decisions have to be reached and arrangements made – all at a time when you will not be feeling at your best.
  • Accept that there will be mood changes, times when you want to be alone and other times when you need company.
  • There is no ‘right’ way to behave.
  • Some people find it comforting to talk while others prefer to not to share their feelings.
  • Some people work through their grief quite quickly but for most people it takes time.
  • It’s normal to have a good cry and to feel emotional. You will probably feel sad for a long time afterwards.
  • It is quite common to feel anger towards the person who has just died.
  • Grief is time-consuming and exhausting and it is important to allow yourself to grieve. Eventually, the pain will ease.
  • Do not be tempted to make drastic changes too soon after the death of a loved one.
  • Recognise when it is time to move on with your life and not feel guilty about it.
  • Don’t be afraid to seek help in sorting out how you feel.


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