Suffering in silence
Domestic violence is so unmentionable that it seems not to exist in the Asian community. It isn’t talked about, it isn’t revealed and it certainly isn’t tackled. There are few available community support groups and many Asian women are reluctant and too fearful to seek mainstream help.
Apna Ghar is the exception. A domestic violence project based in the London borough of Newham, it offers help and advice for any Asian woman struggling with abuse. The scheme was launched by Su B (Su), who is also a community leader on the iVillage Exploring Abuse board.
‘I was initially hired to do admin work for Community Links, the umbrella association behind the project,’ says Su. ‘I was the only Asian worker in the building at that time. I’d only been there a couple of weeks when an Asian woman walked in, walked out, and then returned because she saw an Asian face. She was very distressed. She sat down and discussed her personal issues with me. All I did was listen and then she went away.
‘She never came back but somehow word got out. Within two weeks there were so many women coming to see me that I couldn’t actually do the job I’d been hired to do.’
Backed by Community Links, she launched a two-hour a week drop in service for victims of domestic violence and had 40 women in the group after just two months.
Such demand highlights the urgent need for such projects in a society where cultural issues can add to the burden of domestic violence.
Community pressure
Leaving an abusive relationship is hard for any woman. Many worry they will not be able to cope alone while others fear they won’t be able to provide for their children. Asian women face all these dilemmas and more.
Cultural pressure from the community can be surprisingly strong. ‘One of the hardest things is getting women to admit and acknowledge that this abuse is not a normal part of life,’ says Su.
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