Our straight talking Lancashire lass takes a sideways look at the daily news.
Liz Jones in Somalia? Oh dear God they didn't...
Liz Jones is one of those columnists you read out of guilty pleasure. The fashion journalist writes for the Daily Mail, and catalogues her many, many issues like wrinkles, weight obsession and her totally irrational fear of getting old. Her vision of the future is seriously warped. Some people have a phobia of spiders, Liz has a phobia of wrinkles.
It’s fun to read (in a ‘OMG seriously?’ kind of way), and also if you ever feel bad about yourself you just read one of her columns and thank the High Heavens that you’re not Liz Jones. She is living proof that money can’t buy you happiness.
But this week it seems as though the Daily Mail has stepped into some alternative reality. A reality where Liz Jones is in fact a veteran war reporter like Kate Adie. And they have sent her into Somalia to cover the devastating famine.
I’ll give you a moment to blink and scratch your head before reiterating my point.
Liz Jones – the life-long anorexic who recently spent £13,500 on ‘getting the face she deserved’, and who this week used her Daily Mail column to criticise the NHS for not letting her queue jump in a surgery centre that she wasn’t even registered with because she’d left it too late to get her immunisation jabs.
Liz Jones - who believes that most women are ‘too lazy to do the housework’ because ‘cleaning is beneath them’, and if they’re too busy well, ‘they should just employ a cleaner’.
Liz Jones – who hasn’t used the NHS for over 20 years because she already has ''a private GP, gynaecologist, two therapists and a dentist,' and on asking her local NHS health centre if she could just drop in for some last minute vaccination jabs and was refused, she yelled: 'But this is an emergency! I have never bothered you before in the three years I have lived here. Not with a snotty-nosed kid, not with depression, nothing. Never!'
Liz Jones - the flaky, self-obsessed, narcissistic writer who confessed to spending tens of thousands of pounds on keeping her face looking marginally younger - £400 per month on face creams alone – just to stave off a few wrinkles.
And the Daily Mail have elected to send this cretinous woman to interview dying people who have been forced to leave their homes with nothing, not even food or water.
Isn’t it a tad disgusting to send someone like Liz Jones to report on this devastating famine? Ultimately, she chooses to starve herself half to death, yet the people she is going to visit have no choice in the matter. I’m not belittling anorexia but I am belittling the decision to send a wealthy anorexic to talk to famine victims. It’s a sick joke.
Plus you can imagine her insisting on being flown out to the Horn of Africa in first class, with all mod cons and a fleet of servants - and still she’d be moaning to her two therapists about her multiple hardships whilst on the job. What a waste of space.
I’m going to leave you with an expert from her recent piece on the NHS, just so you know what to expect when she returns…
“I’m sure they wouldn’t classify a routine jab as an emergency. I mean, it’s a global crisis. Millions of people are dying and you won’t put yourself out to allow me to be see by a nurse, not even a doctor, for five minutes?” Quick!writer Liz Jones needs her jabs so we all can know about how poor starving people are dying in Africa! It’s an EMERGENCY!
Why doesn’t she do something useful and donate some of her face cream money to the Disaster Emergency Committee instead?