Our straight talking Lancashire lass takes a sideways look at the daily news.
Love, loss and a splendid game of tennis
This weekend I learned about tennis for the first time. My dad was watching the Wimbledon semi-finals on TV and I decided to join him. My dad was admiring the good form with rackets and I was admiring the good form of men in shorts (but pretending to enjoy tennis because, you know, I was with my dad).
As my dad was enthusing about Murray’s performance in the semi-finals, I accidentally revealed my total ignorance over how tennis works. 'Um, Dad, how do they score points in this game?' I thought it was an innocent question but the look of utter disbelief from my father threw me back.
Thankfully, after 30 minutes of detailed explanation I can now sit through a game without having to hide total incomprehension over the bat and ball antics. I still find Wimbledon phenomenally tedious, but I was glad that Andy Murray got through to the finals – the first Brit in 76 years to do so. And I was genuinely moved to see his gracious and emotional reaction at losing. I got the story, even if I didn’t completely get the game…
But it’s not just the sports arena that got emotional this weekend. It seems that half of celebesville have been having babies, and there is plenty of loved-up gushing in the press.
Actress Sienna Miller was the first to drop her sprog (gender, name, weight, hair colour and temperament currently unknown. We’ll have to wait for Hello! Magazine to spill the beans…). Another celebrity baby born into a lifetime of TV exposure and Paparazzi was Penelope Scotland – daughter to Kourtney Kardashian. Penelope Scotland is a really, really stupid name. It’s like me calling my daughter Bertha Accrington. I don’t have a daughter BTW.
And singer/songwriter/general reactionary Lily Allen has cause for celebration because she’s pregnant with her second child - this is great news for the couple, and great news for us because it means she’ll have to put of her ‘comeback’ for another couple of years. Phew!
And finally, another birth story – not from a well known vapid celebrity, but from 28-year-old Donna Keenan who went into labour in Northumberland and gave birth to twins bang on the England/Scottish border. One of her babies is English and the other Scottish! Well technically they’re both British, but it’s a cute story!