Couples + cash = crisis central?
You're in sync when it comes to your social life, cleaning and visiting parents, but how do you manage money? What if he's investing in the latest gizmos, while you have two ISAs and a pension?
If you think it doesn't matter, think again. Money is cited as one of the most common reasons for break-up. Financial dilemmas can highlight a range of relationship problems.
To love, honour... and share?
The household budget and joint accounts can be testing, from how much to contribute and dividing it fairly to what the money is spent on. How do you ensure neither party feels it's unfair?
'I was earning £20k and my boyfriend £13k; so monthly contributions were split 60 and 40 per cent, which leaves a fairer amount of disposable income. The joint account was used for bills and food shopping. If you're living together, it's a partnership that should not disadvantage one person.'
mistressk
Not everyone is able to 'place' money within a relationship. As relationship expert Paula Hall acknowledges, 'Money is also about our ability to share, compromise, negotiate and commit to another person. If one person behaves differently, it can cause huge problems. Ensure conversations are not just about money, but about the feelings they evoke. If not having a joint account makes you think that your partner is withholding or not committing, talk about those issues - not bank accounts.'
Credit wars
Men often feel money is their domain but what do you do when things get out of hand? As one woman discovered, it's not always easy.
'He hadn't kept up with the second card and debt collectors were ringing. So he panicked and paid off the whole balance with the other card - taking us over our credit limit. He says he didn't want to worry me, that it's a man's job and he feels bad asking me to handle it. I understand, but he isn't any good with money and I am. I'm upset he kept this from me.'
forestchild22
There's little point in burying your head in the sand. But, as Paula says, talking about money is tricky. 'Some people have no problem - it depends on how it was handled in your family. Ask how your partner feels talking about money. Is it a touchy subject; something they were brought up to believe was rude or inappropriate? You need to agree that the conversation is an important one before you embark on it - so if it's awkward, you share the same goal.'
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