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This time next year...
What are your New Year's resolutions? What do you hope to have achieved by Christmas 2006? iVillagers reveal their dearest wishes for the year ahead
The New Year is a time when thoughts and hopes for the future come to the fore. So how can you achieve your dreams? Personal development coach and motivational speaker, Brian Mayne says 'Identifying your goals or life's purpose is the first big step towards achieving your aims.' He adds, 'The key lies in self-confidence. You've got to really want your goal and, more importantly, you must believe that you can do it or else you face an uphill struggle.'
Career change
'I currently work in the promotion industry and have had enough of dealing with rude people who always want the impossible! I come home almost in tears at the way people talk to me. I'm exhausted and need a new career. I would love to work from home and would like to know the best way to motivate myself, build my self-confidence and achieve this.'
goddess_sammyj
'Motivation can come from the desire to see yourself succeed in your new chosen field,' reveals Brian. 'It can also come from visualising or writing down what you want to achieve from your career and what tools and characteristics you already possess to help you get there.'
Practical steps such as investigating new career options, talking to a small business advisor or others who work in your ideal career will help build confidence in your new venture.
Overcoming heartbreak
'It's been three months since I was dumped but I just can't get over him. Every day I wonder what he's doing. I still miss him terribly and love him. Most of all, I am in need of his support. I'd love to think that this time next year I'll be happy, but I'm scared I'll still feel this bad.'
purple-millie
A painful split from a partner can wreak havoc on your confidence like nothing else. 'Acknowledging your pain and grieving for a lost relationship is part of the process of recovery,' says Brian. 'However, after a period of time (and it's different for everyone) you will start to feel stronger. Lean on those around you who love you, look at how many people in your life care for your well-being and allow your confidence to re-grow through their love and support.'
Take steps to boost your self-esteem by taking up a new hobby, changing your appearance or simply treating yourself to something you've long desired. Taking care of yourself will go a long way to helping you recover from heartbreak but it's important to recognise that this process will take time and is best undertaken in small steps.
Passing my driving test
'I had a driving lesson today but all my instructor did was moan and pick faults and my confidence is shot to pieces. I don't think I'll pass - after today's lesson I feel like a complete failure. I would love to see myself driving by this time next year but at the moment, I just can't see it happening.'
clairy123
'Visualising success and identifying the tools you already possess to help attain your goal are key to believing you will succeed,' says Brian. In this instance, someone learning a new skill, should look at how well they've done so far, focus on their strengths to build confidence and recognise where weaknesses lie and work on those areas. 'Breaking a problem down into smaller, more manageable pieces makes it seem less daunting and will ultimately help your goal become more achievable.'
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Created: 03/01/2006 Updated: 03/01/2006
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