Lucy's world was turned upside down when a one night stand led to an unexpected pregnancy. Trading her party heels for wellies, the 27-year-old city girl returned to her rural hometown to start her new life as a single mum. This candid weekly blog explores the highs and lows of new motherhood, rural living and a difficult baby daddy with a girlfriend in tow...
Our first holiday and I've got my hands full!
I haven't weighed myself but I am on holiday so have relaxed a bit. Although, thinking about it, I don't think I've eaten as much as I usually do at home? Suppose when you're not in your own home you can't spend two thirds of the day eating biscuits?
I'm writing this whilst sat on the floor with a poorly little Olivia. I'm pretty sure she is teething, when I feel her bottom gum I am sure I can feel two teeth just underneath. She's turned nocturnal which is not nice, she's got such red, rosy cheeks and a snotty nose. Poor little girl looks so sad! We are staying with my friend and it's so stressful when Olivia cries at night, I'm worried we will keep her awake. Also, quite conscious of the toys and nappies that are lying around.
We started our holiday with a six hour drive to the airport! We could have flown from the local airport but they hike the prices up at least 500 per cent... which sucks! We stopped along the way... it really annoys me how no-one helps. I was clearly struggling and travelling alone. At one point, we stopped for coffee – I had the change bag, my handbag and Olivia in my arms, I ordered a coffee and a cake, struggled to get my money out whilst the cashier tapped her hand on the counter. I asked her to bring the order over – ‘No’. So I take my bags and baby and drag a highchair across the room, put baby in the high chair, put the bags down and walk over to collect my order whilst looking back to make sure no-one’s stolen my baby or my bags. Soon after, we left the café, leaving our rubbish across the table – for the unhelpful staff to deal with!
Onwards to airport security... I'm there with baby, pram, change bag and handbag. I am asked to take off our coats, my shoes, take the baby out of the pram, walk through the 'beeper', try Olivia's water for her bottles. Then I'm left to put my shoes on, my coat on, Olivia's coat on, put her in the pram, collect all our belongings back together whilst keeping an eye on our things and making sure I didn't forget anything! Eventually we get it together and go to have some breakfast before heading to the gate. At this point we discover we have two flights of stairs to get down, no lift, no offer of help. Just lots of stares and tutting. I’m clearly delaying everyone’s fight for the free-for-all seats.
We get to the bottom of the aeroplane, where I am to leave the pram with the airman to place in the hold. And he just looks at me while I take the baby out and try to collapse the pram! Same when we get to the destination, get off the aircraft and struggle to keep hold of the baby, bags and put the pram up while the rest of the passengers are on the bus, staring at me struggling, tapping their feet. I cannot believe how rude people are! I would never have done that, I'd have offered help where it was so obviously needed. Even before I had a baby and knew how difficult it could be, I'd have helped.
Olivia has just started eating proper food so I had to pack a suitcase full in case she didn't like the food here. Anyway, I can't read Polish so it was probably best I did pack it... who knows what she would be eating otherwise!?! It's snowing here, it’s cold and I love it! We took a walk around the park today, we saw red squirrels and loads of ducks – aren't they meant to fly to warmer climates in the winter?!
Just before we left for our holiday, baby daddy’s parents invited us over for dinner, which was nice of them but it did make me wonder if they had an ulterior motive as they've not asked me before. Despite me feeling a little awkward about it, we said yes and went along. We had a nice dinner and his mum got the baby photos out, his family often say that Olivia looks like his did etc etc... but, looking at baby photos of him, I can't really see it. His mum said how she would love a family portrait done – you know those really forced, often not particularly attractive ones – and she wants me and Olivia in it! Could you imagine the GF finding out about that? I expect she wouldn't allow it, or if she did she would be in it too... we would end up standing at opposite sides and I'd get her death stares as the flash went off, what a lovely photo that would make. Ha ha!
Baby dad phoned me a few days before we left for our trip, he's so difficult to get off the phone, chatting away, telling me all his news, informing me he had been sick the previous week with a tummy bug (why would I want to know about his 'runny bum' issues?)... Asking how I was, briefly enquiring about our daughter. It's odd that he chats so much and is so nice and, sometimes, sweet on the phone when he's alone, and when his GF is around when we do ‘the handover’ he doesn't look up from the floor – much less converse with me.
His GF can't look me in the eye either. I find it all pathetic really, it isn't my fault her boyfriend is a cheat. She said they had worked it out and she had forgiven him for having a baby with me – yet she can't be civil and polite to me? It’s silly as we need to all have a fairly good relationship, dare I say it, a friendship, for Olivia's sake. One day she will feel the tension and ask 'Daddy, why do you and Sarah (the GF) hate mummy so much?' Hopefully they'll learn and grow to be pleasant...
My dinner is ready now – how am I ever going to be a skinny minnie?!