My newborn needs help

Even before her son, Jonathan, was born, Shirley (shirleyb2002) had to talk to a plastic surgeon about changing his face

At the scan we asked the sonographer to look for a cleft. She couldn't be sure, but she thought she saw something. We were referred to the Foetal Medicine Unit (FMU) at the local hospital where I had three more scans.

The FMU consultant said there was a cleft lip and possibly palate, but that couldn't be determined definitively on the scan. She added that there could be other chromosomal problems associated with clefts and that we could terminate if we wanted. At that point, I felt numb. My partner, a teacher, who has a wonderful speaking voice and no problems whatsoever once his cleft lip and palate had been fixed was sitting next to me. We left and I cried all the way home.

As soon as I got home, I went online and found the Cleft Lip and Palate Association (CLAPA) website. They quickly sent me an information pack. I joined the CLAPA parents' group and discovered many parents dealing with the same problem. I cried for about two weeks, anything could set me off.

It was over seven weeks before we heard anything from the hospital. Just after Christmas 2002 we were called in to see a plastic surgeon and we met the man who was going to change our baby's face - the baby we hadn't seen yet.

Jonathan was born on 28th April 2003 at the local midwifery unit - after a fight with the midwives who were determined that I should go to the larger hospital. I didn't want to, and checked out with CLAPA whether having a baby with a cleft should have any problems at birth. There weren't any increased risks, and CLAPA were prepared to talk to the midwife for me if necessary. In the end, Cathy, the cleft nurse came out to see them and showed them all the different types of feeding bottles that were available.

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