Reflections on motherhood

Miracles do happen

I'd always wanted a family and when I got married we were quite sure we wanted two kids. We said that we would think about a family either when my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome improved, or before the age of 30.

I'd always said that I didn't really want to be older than 30 when we started a family.

In the meantime, my brother got married and he and his wife (in her late 30s) decided to have a family. We were delighted for them when their first daughter was born, and after that, we started trying.

Nothing happened for us. When my sister-in-law told me that they were expecting another daughter I was delighted for them but it was quite hard. I'd been having gynae problems and I found out that I have a bicornuate uterus which may have been causing the infertility.

That was hard. I'd always assumed that children would be part of my life (and I adore kids). Just as I was coming to terms with this and starting to think what I might do with my life without children we found I was pregnant.

I didn't have the easiest pregnancy and ended up with a planned c-section due to a breech baby. Sam was born the day before I turned 31, so despite everything, we did manage to start our family while I was still 30 as planned!

So what does motherhood mean to me? It means miracles do happen. It means one shouldn't give up hope of having kids. I look at Sam and just can't believe he's real, he's ours.

The last 11 months since Sam was born have flown by. It's been hard work, but the delight on his face when he manages to put one cup inside another (his latest trick) makes everything worthwhile. I never knew that I could feel as tired as I do some days, but I wouldn't change it for anything.
hlricketts

I wasn't maternal

I always knew that I wanted children, and always thought I would have them young. Things didn't work out that way. My husband and I discussed it on many occasions and kept saying it wasn't the right time.

We had been discussing it again when suddenly his sister announced she was expecting. We were shocked and a bit jealous. On hearing the news, I decided to come off the contraceptive pill.

We then went to London for Valentine's Day seeing to see a show and do all the tourist things. We conceived our first child on Valentine's Day 2003, but sadly we lost him at seven months. We then conceived our second child, Jamie, in December that year and he was born in August 2004.

We have never looked back. Our third son, Kyle, was then born in December 2006. Having children has enhanced our lives so much, and we tend to spend all our free time with them.

However, recently we have started to realise that we need some time on our own too, and have started letting them sleep over at Grandma's house so we can have some free time.

Motherhood has totally changed me as a person. I wasn't maternal in any way before I had children, whereas now, I do enjoy their company and can relate to them better.

I also do not have any time and the days, weeks and months just seem to fly by. Gone are the days when I would sit on the sofa watching Formula One for the whole day at weekends and not even venture out. Now my weekends are packed with parks, zoos, play centres and parties.

My family always say that they could never imagine me as a mummy, but I think that I have done an alright job.
cl-iv_jobee