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My teen's so bright but she forgets everything!
My 17-year-old daughter drives me to despair. All her life she has lost or forgotten to do things and is a totally disorganised dreamer. At 15 she was diagnosed with ADD (without the H, hyperactive she certainly is not!). As a result she got learning support and extra time for exams, which she passed brilliantly. She is doing A-levels next summer. Do you have any advice to help her get organised?
One of her A-levels is art (she is a brilliant artist) and she wants to study Illustration at college, but I'm so worried she will lose her portfolio. She already lost her art book. How will she remember to go to lectures?
She's at boarding school (her idea as she thought it would help her be independent). Her teachers try to help, but even they despair, although she continually surprises them with academic achievements after seemingly doing so badly in her homework and coursework...
We've tried memory books (she lost them), detailed daily timetables, homework timetables but nothing helps. She finds it so hard to keep on top of her homework. She loses all her watches too.
She is very depressed about it, says she is useless and thinks the teachers hate her. How will she cope with real life?
dino_2
Hello Dino! First off it sounds like you have a wonderful girl there and things would be fantastic if she could get herself organised. When she got her ADD tests done did they check out her memory? I wondered as it may go hand-in-hand with her attention deficit disorder.
Aside from that, she needs to think about the sorts of thing she's good at remembering. With this sort of problem it's often easier to start with where she goes right, rather than trying to solve where she goes wrong. So she needs to work out why she's good at remembering certain things. For example, maybe she never forgets her sports kit. If she can work out what is about the set of behaviours around packing it up, and taking it to the sports hall, then she could apply those principles to where she is forgetful.
She also needs to challenge negative thinking. You can help her challenge negative beliefs when she says something to you, eg like that she's useless. Immediately point out a positive about her. Then suggest every time she gets a negative thought she substitutes a positive one. This is a habit that can be built up!
NOW YOU NEED TO CHALLENGE YOUR NEGATIVE THINKING - because you're expecting her to lose her portfolio. Raise your expectations!
Finally, if she's truly depressed then you really should insist the school or you take her to the doctor to talk about where to go from there.
Best of luck!
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