I have no control over my daughter

My gosh it would take the patience of a saint to handle your daughter - thank goodness you haven't given up on her. Remember she's hurting inside with all the drug and sex antics - they reflect this, not that she's 'bad'!

I urge you not to give up on her even when the going seems tough. You'll thank yourself one day that you hung in there.

I'm sorry that the laws there make it difficult for you to be a strong parent. I urge you to go to the Canadian equivalent of Citizens Advice Bureau to help you negotiate the landmines of your laws.

In the meantime, use these simple strategies: when you know she's heading over and it will be difficult, try to relax with calming thoughts that you can get through it without having a row. Affirm to yourself that you don't have to argue.

Practise a firm statement to say to her if she plays up. For example if she wants to bring her friends in rehearse saying, 'I can't allow your friends here because they made trouble before. You are more than welcome yourself.' Keep REPEATING this to whatever argument she makes in a firm manner. Repeating one straightforward message will help prevent you getting dragged into this cycle of arguments on the doorstep.

Finally, let her know you'd like to start afresh by telling her that you'd like to leave the past BEHIND and try and start day-by-day to learn to live with each other.

Most importantly ask her what SHE thinks could change between the two views that would make things work. When she's calm and given the space to think about it you might be surprised by her suggestions. Also you should ask adolescent services if you could try family counselling together.

Here's to changing the way you two relate to each other!