iVillage logo
Parenting 
Advertisement
Topics
iVillage shopping

Hot stuff
Newsletters
sign up for FREE!




 
Promotions
Tune into
your teen

My teen refuses to revise

by Dr Pam Spurr

question

I have a 16-year-old daughter who got down to final 13 of Brat Camp so that says quite a lot already.

She's intelligent and caring (when she wants to be) and is about to start her mock GCSEs but won't revise even though we are being structured at home etc. Is the best way to back off and leave her to make her mistakes on her mocks or keep at her?
micheleh

answer

Hi Michele,
I'm delighted she didn't actually make it into Brat Camp! So she must have many good points as you describe!

From experience, I find that those teens who are otherwise intelligent and caring but then rebel against studying, often have a fear of failure and are quite perfectionist about things. It's easier to blow out the work than to face the fact they might do it and fail.

This means you need to build her confidence elsewhere. While keeping up GENTLE pressure on maintaining the structure you've tried to create for her studies, encourage her to do something she's good at.

Does she have any hobby she's particularly good at or interested in? If yes, then sing her praises about that, and if not then find out what she might want to pick up. When she starts feeling more confident about other achievements her studying won't seem so daunting.

Another suggestion is to ask who her favourite teacher is and suggest you all sit down to tackle the lack of study problem together. Sometimes the humiliation (!) of having a parent coming to see the teacher is enough for a teen to think twice about bunking off work.

Finally ask her if she'd like to re-work her study schedule - she may have suggestions for what would make her more motivated. Ensure she eats balanced meals and gets some fresh air too! Whatever you do keep some pressure there - don't give up entirely as she needs the framework you provide her.

You may have to instigate a 'study BEFORE privileges' routine if you don't have success with these tips.

iVillage TV - Pregnancy experts

View video in larger player
Delicious     Digg     reddit     Facebook     StumbleUpon